Whitey Bulger’s Dead And I Never Got To Thank Him

Infamous Boston gangster James “Whitey” Bulger was killed just a week after his transfer to a federal prison in West Virginia, at the age of 89.

Killed might be an understatement.  Inmates, most likely hired by the mafia, put padlocks in pillow cases and turned his head inside out.  They also gouged out his eyeballs and nearly cut out his tongue.  Graphic right?  Yeah, because he deserved it!  I’m not pulling punches in this blog because, for scumbags like Whitey Bulger, there’s no sweeter justice than prison justice.  Even at 89, no one feels sorry for this dude.  You reap what you sew.

Not only did he run one of the most violent criminal organizations in our nation’s history; poisoning the streets where he grew up with drugs, robbing the hard-working people that lived there and littering the historic landscape of South Boston with the bodies of those who got in his way…he’s also to blame for the shittiest mob movie ever made.

Bulger’s life story was the basis for the movie Black Mass.  A real snooze-fest that starred Johnny Depp as Whitey Bulger.  I’m not sure if the movie was as bad as I remember or if I was just so distracted by Depp’s creepy bald-cap and colored contact lenses, that I couldn’t focus on what was happening.  Is he a vampire or a gangster?!  Make up your mind because it’s freaking me out!

Bulger wasn’t just a ruthless psychopath who birthed a movie turd, he was also a rat!  Yup.  While doing everything I mentioned above, he ran with impunity for 17 years because he was an informant for a dirty FBI agent who kept Bulger off the law enforcement radar so he could feed the FBI information on rival drug dealers and mafia figures.  This dude had the moral compass of tiger shark.

Whitey Bulger was one of the worst, most evil human beings to ever walk our planet and now he’s dead and I never got the chance to thank him.  If I could meet him in person, I would look him straight in his soul-less eyes and say, “Thank you.  Thank you for being who you were.”

It’s true, but let me explain.  I’m one of the biggest UFC fans in the world and Whitey Bulger is a big reason why the UFC is where it’s at today.

This is where UFC fans say, “Fuck you!  Dana White made the UFC what it is today!”  Yes, this is true.  Dana White convinced the Fertitta brothers to buy the UFC in 2001 and then, as president and equity partner, used his genius to re-invent the dying organization and turn it into the $4 billion dollar company it is today.  This only happened because Dana White got involved with the UFC and the Fertitta brothers while living and working in Las Vegas.  And he was only in Las Vegas because he had to flee South Boston because Whitey Bulger was going to have him whacked.

Sounds fucking crazy, right?!  Dana White has gone on record with the fact that he was making his living by running a boxing gym for at-risk youth in South Boston during Bulger’s reign.  At that time, if you wanted to run a business in that neighborhood, you had to pay tax to Whitey Bulger.  So eventually, Bulger sent his right-hand man and enforcer, Kevin Weeks, to White’s gym to collect.

Weeks informed White that he owed them $2500.  White informed him he didn’t have it.  Weeks informed him that he better get it.  This went on for a few weeks until finally, White received a phone call from Weeks who stated that he had until noon the next day to pay up.  So, White immediately packed up his shit, moved to Las Vegas and never looked back.

So Whitey, if you can hear me down there, thank you.  Thank you for making Dana White flee, in fear for his life, to Las Vegas where fate awaited his brilliance, so he could save the UFC and build it into the juggernaut of an organization it is today.  You inadvertently helped rescue the sport of MMA from obscurity and bring it to the mainstream all because you were willing to kill a dude, that was just trying to keep troubled kids off the street, for a lousy $2500.  I hope you enjoy burning in hell half as much as I enjoy watching the UFC.

@toddmccomas