Heartland Radio 2.0 Ep. 31 – Dark Waters

On today’s show, the guys chat about Gorman’s illustrious film career from Super Bowl commercials to major blockbusters, and he gives a few stories about his time on film sets and out in Hollywood. They also discuss a couple of the shows that they’ve been interested in on Netflix, and cover some news stories from around the globe including a Russian Santa having a fatal heart attack in front of some kids, the Brazilian version of Sweeney Todd, and doppelgangers causing wrongful convictions. Todd wants to know what the best Christmas present each of the guys ever got was, and they answer some listener questions including what each of them would choose to be the world champion of and what their championship belt would look like, and what one song they’d sing the lyrics to if they had a gun pointed at their heads. To close out the show, the guys pick a few more holiday themed Bangerz to help send you into the weekend. It’s a fun one, come and have a good time with us.

This episode features @toddmccomas, @PatMcAfeeShow, @Digz, @nickmaraldo, @tyschmit, @BostonConnr, @HeyGorman, @VivalaZito, and @evanfoxy.

St. Nick’s Holiday Gift Ideas – Shoe Tying Robot

If you’re like me and procrastinate until you’re up against the clock you probably haven’t started your holiday shopping yet. I decided to help my fellow humans this year and provide some ideas of gifts for your loved ones and friends this season. Just some simple things to make their lives easier or more enjoyable. Don’t worry folks old St. Nick is here to do the the hard work for you…

https://giphy.com/gifs/90s-cartoon-super-mario-world-NJbeypFZCHj2g

Let me tell you we have found a winner here. It’s become so instinctual you don’t even think when you do it, it’s just a natural habit, a way of life if you will. Tying your shoes is the WORST. I only do it once, the very first time I put on a new pair of kicks. Then I’m constantly playing the slip and slide game trying to jam my foot in without messing up the aesthetic or creasing the sneakers. Like a drunken frat boy who’s been hammering whiskey all night and gone limp, I’m wiggling and wavering trying to find the right angle of insertion to get it in and keep it moving. Because this is all about efficiency, the less I have to do the better. 

https://giphy.com/gifs/EjoPPHEEGTxW8

This tedious task is part of the daily monotony that can make your life feel awfully robotic. Wake up, brush your teeth, tie your shoes, go to work, go home, go to sleep, wash, rinse, repeat, etc.

https://giphy.com/gifs/infomercial-14mu60gk80cHrG

WELL DO I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU! For the low price of roughly $600 you can get your hands on a piece of the future! A device straight from the Jetsons! A shoe tying robot!!!

Yes it’s all too real. You probably didn’t think we had this type of tech just laying around! The future is now!!! Just stick it in and let it go to work baby! This fancy state of the art device is all too happy to do the bullshit you don’t want to deal with. Imagine your old man’s face when you he unwraps this beauty under the tree! No more bending over! Kiss those back issues good bye! Kneeling down all the time to tie your shoes!? Hello knee problems! NO MORE! 

Now I know what you’re going to say… but it takes so long I could tie my own in half the time. This may be true, however who doesn’t love to be pampered and taken care of? You can’t put a price on the delicacy and care of this technology gently looping those laces for you, making you feel, all high and mighty, even powerful like a king!

No need to thank me, your loved one’s joy on X-mas morning and their new lifetime of happiness will be all the thanks I need. 

…Or be a baller and drop a few stacks on the Nike Air Mags from Back to the Future. They retail for around anywhere from $10,000-50,000 USD!

https://giphy.com/gifs/cheezburger-back-to-the-future-nike-5xtDarlcoLgByWydbCE

Follow Nick Maraldo:
Twitter
Instagram