Good Monday morning ESPN, the internet is talking and its getting pretty loud. The time has come to think outside the box, we all watched the train wreck that was Jason Witten last year and I’m pretty sure that was a safe pick for you. Now you have the option to fix last years mistake, you have the chance to hire someone with something different than what we’ve seen before on Monday nights. Please DO NOT compare this to the Dennis Miller hire that didn’t work out. This is way different and way better.
The world watched when he turned an absolute blowout meaningless game in Green Bay into a trend on Twitter. That was only his second game announcing also and his first NFL one. People are going to watch Monday Night Football no matter what, so why not take a shot and lets have some fun with it. Theres no reason not to, he fits the criteria you always say your looking for. He played in the league for eight seasons and had a lot of fun doing it on the field. You can keep trying with another safe pick similar to Jason Witten but do you really want to get trolled every Monday Night again.
Come one ESPN think outside of the box for once, take a shot on Pat McAfee in the booth on Monday nights. He’s an absolute beast on the internet and theres no reason to think he won’t be the exact same on Monday Night Football. Lets try something new, lets mix things up, lets get excited and lets have some fun and some laughs on Monday Night Football for a change. Hope y’all had a good weekend and lets hammer the internet on this beautiful Monday. #McAfeeForMNF #DoTheRightThingESPN
Here’s my review of Holmes & Watson that was published on IMDb on December 26, 2018.
Obviously, this review was given a huge platform and reached a ton of people when Pat McAfee had me read it on The Pat McAfee Show 2.0 podcast. Pat also shared the review to the millions that follow him on social media as well as the team that works for him. Then it grew legs as followers of @patmcafeeshow and members of the crew, retweeted and shared the review with their followers and friends. I’m not sure if it hit enough numbers to be classified as “viral” but it was certainly being seen and appreciated by a lot of people. Talk Radio shows were reading it on air as content, digital media companies were putting it out on their platforms…it was taking off.
If you went to IMDb and looked up Holmes & Watson, my review was a top the list of all reviews if you sorted by most helpful. Thousands of people had checked that it was helpful. The second in the list wasn’t even close.
Then today, I went on IMDb and typed in Holmes & Watson and discovered my review had been removed. This is now the most helpful review for this movie on IMDb.
286 people found this review helpful. If you do the math, 286 is much less than thousands. Not only did IMDb remove my review, the list is now full of positive reviews for the movie. Lots of 7/10 ratings, I even saw a couple 9’s! There’s no way that many people enjoyed this movie. Are these fake accounts? Are these accounts acting on behalf of someone that has a financial interest in the movie? I’ll let you decide that for yourself.
You might be thinking right now, “Well, they did leave the second most helpful review, which is also negative and you had given it 2 stars, this account gave it 1 star. So, that would indicate IMDb is still being impartial, right?”
It is a negative review that scored the movie even lower than I did, but let me expand on that. I gave it 2 stars because a 1 star review for this movie means you’re not taking the rating and review process seriously. A 2 star review indicates that I recognize it was a big production with a fantastic cast, but it also recognizes the finished product was an epic failure.
Also, this 1 star review was well done but it hadn’t gone viral, nor does it lend itself to doing so. My review was spreading at a rate that it was likely to become THE REVIEW of the movie. Obviously, that isn’t good for those who have a financial interest in the movie. So, what’s the quickest way to prevent my review from reaching that status? DELETE!
Is IMDb acting in the best interest of the backers of Holmes & Watson or are they acting in the best interest of the movie-watching public? Thousands of people thought my review was helpful, so it’s an interesting question.
I had always relied on IMDb to be the place where I could go see if a movie was worth watching. I’m not sure I can do that anymore. I think its possible the integrity of IMDb is being compromised and that’s a damn shame.
Most people know Tim McAfee as the father of former NFL great turned Internet Mogul, Pat McAfee and/or as “Block Dad” because of the viral video of him pulling off the most amazing block-game move of all time.
Tim McAfee is one of my favorite people on the planet so I decided that I want you to learn more about him as a person. So, I conducted a short little interview with him to give you more insight as to why he’s such a legend around here.
Who was your childhood hero and why?
Tim: Mark Spitz (9-time Olympic champion, and former world record-holder in 7 events). I was a swimmer and wanted to be just like him. Plus, he had a badass mustache.
Where did you and your wife Sally meet? And was it love at first sight?
Tim: We met at a New Year’s Eve Party. She claims I stalked her.
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Tim: I wanted to be a State Trooper. I did all the testing but never made it.
What is your favorite food and alcoholic drink?
Tim: A big ole steak and any dark-ass German beer.
What’s your favorite TV Show of all time?
Tim: Anything with Tim Allen. He’s my soulmate.
Diet pop or the real thing?
Tim: Give me the real thing. Coke. No Pepsi.
What is your favorite movie of all time?
Tim: Equalizer 1. Denzel was a good guy out making a difference. Could also be Young Frankenstein.
Who’s your favorite comedian other than your son? Or me?
Tim: Early Eddie Murphy
What’s your favorite song?
Tim: Money For Nothing. Because I was a mover.
Who’s your favorite super hero?
Tim: Batman. No fake powers. Just a human making a difference in the world.
If you could assume and control the body and mind of any living person for a day, who would you choose and why?
Tim: That’s easy. The Donald. There’s no other human on earth who does whatever he wants.
If I were to write a biography on your life, what should I name it?
Tim: Either Damn That’s Been Fun or What Just Happened?
Describe every person that works for Pat, in just 2 words.
Digs – Dom DeLuise
Nick – So Cool
Zito – So Smart
Bailey – So Calm
Todd – Great Guy (of course)
Gorman – Interesting Cat
CFO Phil – Steady Going
Ty – My Trainer
Evan – Silent Killer
Connor – Loud Killer
Oh, one last thing Tim. How do you feel about The Pub?
Tim: I don’t know. Do they have dark German beer?
That’s why we love him! Special thanks to Tim for taking time out of his day for this interview. I hope this helps you all get to know him a little better than you did before. Tim McAfee is a machine and everyone here is happy that he’s in the building now. Especially me, because I’m not the oldest guy in the office anymore. Let’s go!!!
Each year the NFL players have a Pro Bowl vote to decide who is the best of the best. I’m not sure of the weight the players’ vote carries alongside the fans, coaches, and media votes when it comes to deciding the rosters.. but it’s still a cool thing to be a part of each year. It’s the active players deciding who are “THE GUYS.” MVPs, Comeback player of the year, Pro Bowlers, awards, all of that.. This vote meant more than the other 3 by a mile in my eyes. Respect amongst your peers is something you can only earn. You can’t be given these votes by a good PR push from your agent or an agency, or by being a part of a team with a larger and more passionate fanbase, etc., etc.. It’s the guys who’ve been in the locker room and in the game voicing their opinions on who the studs are in the league. There’s a ballot and a HUGE stat packet handed out to each position group on each team.. the players gather around and chat about it after the work day is complete.. Names are tossed forward, a “yay” or “nah” situation happens, then somebody goes thru the stat packet and lobbies for or against that player, it becomes quite a learning process.
When you’re in the middle of an NFL season, you live in a bubble, it’s Groundhog’s Day, work and sleep is pretty much your entire season.. you don’t get to watch many other games or players outside of who you’re playing each week. You can hear some buzz about how Saquon is doing, but you’re traveling or playing on Sunday’s normally so you don’t fully understand until whomever has the stat packet says “Saquon has 100,000 yards this year”.. that’s when players start talking about the finer details on why it’s either impressive or isn’t at all to them.. which D Lines Saquon has played against, his o-line.. “He’s doing that with “insert name of shitty offensive lineman” or “insert example of defense he played against in the year” type of quotes get tossed around at a high frequency… “I could do that shit too in that situation” might be said.. These votes, just like society, are not immune to some haters hating.
Punters and kickers also get voted upon. Long snappers don’t get voted on, that’s a conversation for another day. They deserve that honor as well.. anyways.. A former colleague of mine took a picture of the NFC punt stat page handed out to the players for the vote and sent it to me.. He said that when it came to the specialist vote the room yelled “#ForTheBrand”.. made me feel good deep in my plums. Anyways.. here’s the stats for the NFC punters that the players looked at yesterday.
I’d assume some folks believe that the best punter is the one who can kick the ball the furthest the most often… That is a GREAT quality to have as a punter, but 1 stat can’t give you all the answers.
Punting stats should come with a little deeper thinking.. For instance. High gross averages might correlate with being the punter for a team who’s offense might struggle or stall out early.. Because obviously there is a much larger field to work with when you go on the field to punt after a 3 and out after a touchback then when your team picks up a a couple first downs then have to punt.. That can drastically change the strategy of the kick. It’s no longer a “bomb” mentality, it then becomes a pooch/pin mentality which leads me to the..
Inside the 20 stat.. HUGE stat.. The punter’s job is to create a field position advantage. Pinning a team deep is the ultimate task for a punter.. If you have a good defense who can 3 and out or pick-6 a team after you pin them .. that’s some beautiful field-position harmony.. Punters are looking to pin folks inside the 20, but we don’t bank on the inside the 20 stats to tell us if a guy is having a good year or not.. Situational stuff comes into play there A LOT. Pooch opportunities vs Big field opps. Andy Lee is tied for the most inside the 20 in the NFC, but… he’s also had more than double the amount of punts than Hekker. 77 punts is A LOT of punts. Law of averages type of stuff here..
Returns Given Up/Return Yards are a couple good stats to look at for how a guy is doing. You can correlate that with net and gross and put together a pretty good idea on how the guy has punted.
What I’m trying to say with all of this… is just like any other stat.. The numbers don’t Bob Ross the whole story.. You gotta dive deeper than the numbers.. With that being said I think The Bomber From Down Under.. “Ok Cool, Hook ‘em”’s finest.. Michael Dickson is probably the guy in the NFC this year being voted by the players. Cameron Johnston also INCREDIBLE year…
Something to be mentioned.. Pro Football Focus.. Collinsworth’s stat company.. Watches EVERY SINGLE PUNT.. and scores them. It’s a highly respected grading system amongst every player I know. Much more so than any of the media folks’ rankings. They released some punter rankings yesterday as well..
Palardy leading the way.. What this tells us is that Palardy has been having an incredibly consistent season.. Happy for Palardy, the guy deserves to have a great season..
THAT’S NOT WHAT THIS BLOG IS ABOUT THOUGH
This blog is about the NFL, sabotaging the legacy of Legatron. The number 2 punter on PFF’s ranking… doesn’t even show up on the NFC’s Pro Bowl voting sheet because Drew Brees is too damn good. He hasn’t punted enough to show up in the stats. Everybody knows how I feel about Drew Brees and his baby..
That was a terrible moment in my life.. and they just look too damn cute. But the fact that Morstead’s year has just been erased by the NFL is a truly disgusting act against the brand. EVERY PUNT MATTERS. We all know that. I’d also like to argue that it is HARDER to punt less. I’ve been on both sides of the plate here. I was on a team that was undefeated until we chose to lose against the New York Jets. Peyton Manning was the QB, we didn’t punt often. Then, I was on a team a couple years later that was almost completely defeated until Dan Orlovsky came and won us 2 games. We were about a game away from owning the “Most punts in a season by a punter” record in the NFL.
The year I was punting 7-8 times a game was much easier than when I was rarely punting at all. When you get a lot of opportunities a lot of things happen, especially in a position in which your “average” means everything. When you have a lot of opportunities that affords you a lot of fuck ups, without screwing the average up as much. You also get into a flow, a rhythm, you start feeling the game a little bit. When you’re punting once a game, it is very difficult to catch a rhythm. You also can’t fuck up AT ALL. Every. Punt. Matters. at that point. If you hit a shank, your numbers are ruined for weeks. If you’re hitting 6 punts a game, you can hit a shank or 2 a game and make up for it with the other 4 punts.
I know Thomas Morstead’s reputation from the media right now is “a guy who’s over paid and out of work.” But there’s a reason the Saints gave him that contract. He’s incredible. He’s the guy, alongside Jamie Kohl, who taught me how to punt. He’s the guy who I’d call during the season if I had a question. He’s the guy, who is the best pure punter the game has ever seen…. He just so happens to be a little bit of a nerd, and A LOT A BIT underused at the time being… But don’t you worry.. You don’t need a good punter.. until you really need him. At some point during this magical run that the Saints are on, The Long Legged Piss Missile Legatron will be called upon to flip the field to keep the other team out of a game tying field goal or tudder.. and that’ll be the day the city of New Orleans and all the humans in WHO DAT Nation will toss their beads in appreciation.. of Thomas Morstead.
Congrats to Dickson, Johnston, Lee, Palardy, and all the boys of the NFC for putting on a great show this year.. No matter how often you were called upon. Cheers boys. #ForTheBrand
Last week the Colts got shut out against the Jaguars, the worst team in their division and then came back this week and beat the Texans who were arguably the best team in the division. It feels like a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation.
It’s a real roller coaster ride but, unfortunately, I think it’s just part of the process. The team is starting to gel and come into its own but we’re young and this system is new so there are bound to being growing pains. The Colts have never been known for their defense but it appears that has finally changed.
The defense is doing their job. They’re keeping us in games which is crucial as Luck and the offense work to become more consistent. They’ve definitely shown they can be explosive and move the chains but they’ve also shown that they can shit the bed for long stretches which is frustrating.
The good news is it’s only frustrating because we know what our potential is. We are a good football team and we have the potential to be a great football team. We wouldn’t have been frustrated if we were shut out by the Jaguars last year. We would’ve calmly taken a sip of our beers and let out a collective sigh, followed by a “Yeah, we suck.” It sounds weird to say, but it actually feels good to have the right to be pissed off when we have a bad game.
I couldn’t be more happy that the Colts are in the Wild Card conversation and I couldn’t be more excited to see how we compete for it. I’m all in on GM Chris Ballard and Head Coach Frank Reich. What they’ve been able to accomplish with this team in such a short period of time is incredible. I’m not second-guessing shit this off-season. If they make a move to get Le’Veon Bell…awesome. If they don’t make a move to get Le’Veon Bell…still awesome. These guys came here with a vision and it’s working so I’m keeping my stupid mouth shut. It’s a good time to be a Colts fan.
Catchy headline.. that’s step 1 to this blog game I’ve been learning.
Mr Gurley and Kamara didn’t bully anybody.. They just let somebody know that they shouldn’t have stumbled and fell like Tom Brady.
Tom’s the 🐐, but this was tough for the TB12 Brand
Anyways.. back to the bullies.
They couldn’t help it but let Zeek know that this was supposed to be a highlight that lives on the internet and on our TVs FOREVER.. NFL’s greatest plays type of stuff.. it was supposed to be a highlight that ends with a tudder. A celebration. All of that good stuff..
Wild bullying in the comments section.
I often wonder how it’d feel to be that athletic.. it’s a real shame that I’ll never know what it feels like to hurdle a fully sized human…
or score a touchdown in the NFL.
Thanks Troy Polamalu.
Troy stole all of my dreams. Like the Grinch stole Christmas. Picked up all of my touchdown dreams, stuffed them in his sack, and walked away.
I know.. I know. I used to feel the exact same way you probably do. I used to scoff at people that would say a college team could beat a pro team. I’d laugh in their face. Because I know that the NFL is an all star game, for about 10 different age groups. An actual collection of the greatest football players the earth has seen. I know that in college football, even in the SEC there are guys who won’t make it to the NFL. And I know that Tua hasn’t faced 30 year olds who are looking to feed their families yet… BUT..
I believe that this Alabama team is different. The differentiating factor is the QB. By far. For as far back as I could remember the Alabama teams were winning because they would run all over teams. The offensive lines and running backs would just barrel folks. Most of the time winning IN SPITE of their quarterback. The QB’s, although probably talented, were 1000% system QBs. What I used to say to someone who thought Alabama could beat an NFL team was that “D Linemen in the NFL would be able to handle the O Linemen and running back so the offense wouldn’t work”..
Tua changes ALL OF THIS.. he can make every throw. He leads his receivers better than half the NFL. He can put the ball anywhere he wants.. which is what he’d have to do because “That’s open in the NFL” means a few inches here and there.
This Alabama team is the perfect recipe of a team that could beat a TERRIBLE NFL team. Athletic defense. Great QB. And playmakers.
Sooo.. Here’s the lock of the century. If ESPN can figure out a way to set up an exhibition between Tua’s Alabama and The Bills…
EMPTY THE BANK ACCOUNT… AND HAMMER THE TIDE +28.5
Since writing this blog, I’ve received quite a few texts..
Here’s one from AQ Shipley
“Talent wise. I would agree that this team has a lot of future NFL PLAYERS. The SEC doesnt have a Jerry Hughes who is a proven pass rusher on one side and Lorenzo Alexander, one of the highest graded edge guys in the league. Both of these players have had success amongst the worlds best Offensive tackles. I always say what makes you better from year to year is your mind. Being able to process the worlds fastest sport in a split second is what allows players to play past the “not for long” mantra that many describe an NFL career as. Any defense in the NFL can process information so much faster than any college defense regardless of what conference they play in. Not to mention, Tua, has never seen as complex a defense as even the most watered down defenses in the NFL. He has never seen coverage disguises or blitz disguises quite like you see at the NFL level. These safeties do such a good job holding there bluffs until the last possible second and still have enough skill and smarts to get back into position to be where they need to be. I also must add, Sean Mcdermott is one of the smartest defensive minds in the NFL. So to think that its a lock that Alabama would beat an NFL team is a bit much. I think if you take talent alone based on projected NFL players as well as dominant record vs everyone in college, I can see why people would argue your point about being able to beat an NFL team who is having little success. But, lets pump the brakes a little and for a second take into account all of the variables. Also, lets not discredit or take away the fact that there is a reason why the NFL is the highest level, its the best of the best. Yes, Alabama is the best team in college but lets also not forget that around 50 percent of the roster will not be on an NFL roster after Alabama. NFL rosters which include yes that team youre talking about…the BUFFALO BILLS.”
So he doesn’t agree with me… what would he know anyways. 10 year NFL Center. He didn’t mention “RPO” once.
And here’s another from former teammate, NFL Corner/Safety/3rd String Holder- Darius Butler
He told me I was wrong.. I simply asked why, then got this response 👀
5 years ago this wouldn’t even be a conversation worth entertaining IMO. Today its at least worth a conversation. I lied, its not! I literally completely changed my mind about it in the middle of writing this. I first took into account the amount of hours these college guys have dedicated to their craft over lets say the 5 yrs before arriving at Bama. In 2000 I wasn’t interested in working with a trainer to improve my skillset over the offseason before my freshman yr in HS. Nowadays these kids have trainers at age 13! Fast Fwd that kid 8yrs and now you’re a rookie WR in the NFL you have 5 extra yrs of personalized training under your belt (which is an eternity when working with a world class athlete.) I witnessed Erik Swoope transform from a College Basketball forward to a legit TE over the course of 3-4 yrs with no College FB experience. After factoring that in I went to the QB position (which is arguably the toughest position to play in sports) and the recent surge of 1st and 2nd yr QBs that are dominating almost immediately. Which of course has in part to do with Coaches on the Pro level being more flexible and adding some of the College-style plays into mix i.e. Andy Reid/Bill Obrien (necessary RPO mention)
Even with these factors along w/ a few others, the gap between the best college team and the worst pro team is still too significant. Let’s try and break it down with an excercise. Grab a sheet of paper…draw a line down the middle. Write on each side the top 5 players on each team. On the Bill’s side you have guys who have not only played but dominated for extended periods in their careers against the very best players this earth has to offer. On the Bama side lets say you have 5 first rounders who may or may not pan out on the next level. Now slide down that roster to the 15-20th best players on each roster. I think pretty quickly you realize what I did without going any further.
IT’S NOT A CONVERSATION!
So.. That was quite a ride there. I did his little paper exercise. It’s not great for my side of things here… BUT.. Darius isn’t even accounting confidence. The Bills just lost to the Bears by A LOT.. and Alabama just beat LSU by 29 in a shutout rout in the Bayou..
Starting to think I could be wrong here.. Weird feeling. Not sure I’ve ever had it.