No, Derrick Rose and 50 Cent didn’t get in a fight last night, he just scored 50 points.
Derrick Rose went from 100-0 faster than almost any other sports figure in my lifetime. The guy won Rookie of the Year, then the MVP, then the wheels (knees) started to fall off. Some may go back a year further than his rookie year and say the national championship was the beginning of the end, but hey, free throws are a pain in the ass. I lost thousands on fucking free throws all he did was lose a national championship.
This game last night is just another reason why sports can possess some of the best moments at any given time. Half the world doesn’t even think Basketball has started yet. But somehow, Derrick Rose comes out just a few weeks into the season and looks like the old #1 Derrick Rose we knew from the Bulls. I bet Thibodeau watched this entire game not even realizing he was coaching the T-Wolves and thinking they were in Chicago. He’s probably crying about the potential of him still being in Chi-Town with an uninjured D-Rose and Jimmy Butler. Don’t think many backcourts could match that skill if injuries were erased from history.
Insane how high this dude used to get up. On some of those rejections he was up above the block on the backboard. Those highlights were awesome too because it was the pre Golden State NBA.
23 years strong I went without missing a Boston Sports Championship Parade and yesterday was the first one I have ever missed.
I slammed my laptop closed the first time I went to write this because I was at an all time hump day low. However, I have gathered myself just enough to piece together the Parade post that I know so many of you Red Sox fans want to read. I took the liberty of pulling just a few of my favorite scenes from yesterday’s glorious occasion, nearly a holiday, as the Red Sox duck boated around the city of Boston. First, the train ride into the city for the championship parade was one of my favorite parts about being apart of Titletown USA. All bets are off when that train comes and you gotta elbow your way towards the old commuter rail. You’d think it would be a push pull situation, but if theres any room, you better believe you’re getting pulled up by some champion of men to get you to the city. No pushing when it comes to helping people get up on the train. For a city known as being full of a bunch of mean pricks (not wrong), we know when to turn it off and just enjoy being part of the greatest sports city in the world.
Not knowing Steve Pearce grew up a Sox and Pats fan made this video a little tougher to watch, again, utterly distraught that I wasn’t there. But this fucking guy is such an animal I bet he drank thirty beers on that Duck Boat. Sounds like he already had a few Jack and Cokes before he went on the stage, but he could’ve shit into the mic and walked off, he’s immortalized either way.
The last championship parade the Red Sox had, David Ortiz was also carrying the MVP trophy in his duck boat. Now, he slams tequila and talks shit with Pedro Martinez which raises the huge question, will we ever have a Red Sox parade without Oritz? Answer: Absolutely, positively, 1,000%, no. David Ortiz is Red Sox royalty and he can hoist the trophies he helped win anytime, any place. Also, if David Ortiz wants to come to your party, you’re not going to say no. The guy is a walking light bulb he’s so electric as a human being.
This is what makes the parade so incredible. It’s not just the degenerate college kids and die hard fans that come out to get belligerent and party in the streets. EVERYONE in Boston stops what they’re doing to pay their respects to the team that made the great journey known as the MLB season. You know its legit when Construction guys are taking some time to do arts and crafts and draw up a few World Championship signs. This will always be the best Red Sox team in Sox history and I can’t wait to see how many Mookie ends his career with. Parades don’t get old, same way championships don’t. Maybe I’ll make it out there for the one in February.
Fox News — Astronomers have observed a stunning, supermassive black hole at the center of the Milky Way that’s pulling gas blobs into its vortex at 30 percent of the speed of light.
According to researchers, the monster black hole, known as Sagittarius A* (pronounced “A-star”), is a physical point of no return that pulls any matter that’s too close into a death spiral.
Sagittarius A* is thought to be a black hole with a mass that’s more than 4 million times the mass of our sun, residing about 25,000 light-years from Earth.
I don’t think it’s ever good when something is renamed after the A-Bomb. A-Star sounds like the Rose Bowl of the black hole stadiums. The only black hole simulation that I trust is that from the movie Interstellar (pictured above). The reaction McConaughey gives to seeing half of what I assume the A-Star looks like is the exact reaction anyone would have when looking into the heart of death. Not to mention, the boundless area we know as Space would overtake any sort of calm feeling. I know that black hole depicted above is from a movie and is CGI, but that’s essentially what a black hole looks like. Just sucking the life and light out of anything around it. I don’t feel comfortable sitting on Earth knowing it’s only 25,000 light years away. Sounds like a lot, but when you’re dealing with a black hole that’s the size of 4 trillion Earths, 25,000 light years feels like a football field.
The article states “(The A-Star) is a physical point of no return that pulls any matter that’s too close into a death spiral.” The only point of no return that I’ve been exposed to is anything past 3 o’clock in the morning. The terms ‘point of no return’ and ‘death spiral’ being used in the same sentence would usually scare me, but its Halloween so Mike Meyers is my main worry right now. A death spiral does have a lot of potential to be the next premier roller coaster ride at six flags, but as far as being pulled into a death spiral goes, it sounds worse than missing the Red Sox parade. Not by much, but still a little worse.
Maybe I’m being a child about this black hole, but when you read its sucking in gas at 30 percent of the speed of light, it would rattle any spaceman’s cage. I don’t even know how its possible to be sucking in gas, I’m only used to pushing it out. By now, I’m surprised we haven’t sent someone through one of these bad boys. Not because it’s a good idea, but because Interstellar made it seem like that was the key to space travel. Someone find Elon Musk’s spaceship he flew to this planet and lets send that vessel into the Atom Bomb of black holes.
Mr. Feeny (William Daniels), everyone’s favorite neighbor, stopped a burglary at his home this past Saturday night.
If you didn’t choke up once while watching that then you’re a liar. Mr Feeny was the best teacher I ever had and I never even stepped foot in his classroom. That whole entire video is filled with advice that nobody else in the world possesses. Maybe somebody else but nobody says it with the conviction that Feeny does. Imagine breaking into the house Feeny lives in? What terrible thievery by this guy not realizing he was robbing the Michael Jordon of 91 year old dudes. I imagine William Daniels’ daily routine to be psychotic for a 91 year old. Guy probably wakes up at 5 am, workouts, volunteers at a local hospital, does a little gardening, and is in bed by 8; unless he chooses to throw back a bottle Vino with his old ball and chain. Its great to know Feeny is still crushing life this many years after Boy Meets World. The Feeny call will always be an iconic part of my childhood. Long Live Mr. Feeny.
What are Internet’s favorite Fenny/Boy Meets World moments?
I don’t know what it is but I see all of these games getting played with music blasting and people slamming beers. There were at least two games that could use the Beerio Kart rules, a few fighting games that funnels will get filled to as well. Cool Boarders 2 and Destruction Derby will be why I purchase this retro video game machine. An old school SSX game and a better violent version of bumper cars is exactly what would get the blood flowing during a pregame (perhaps at the pub). Forgot how absurd Rayman is as a character too. No attachments necessary makes the possibilities for this guy incredible. He would be an all-time slot receiver, never afraid to go across the middle because CTE doesn’t effect a man without a neck.
What will really get people is when the next PlayStation they release has the better quality remastered version of these old school games. The original Grand Theft Auto being on there makes this console worth the purchase. GTA will always be a timeless game and in fifty years this thing could be worth millions, maybe even billions depending on how close our world is to Ready Player One.
Which games does Internet want to see on the television during a friend fiasco?
The Boston Red Sox won the 2018 World Series. What a glorious moment to be able to copy and paste that first sentence from when I originally began this article on October 25th.
Nothing says World Series Champions like four double whiskey’s in the Los Angeles airport fresh off a flight (LAX no big deal.) Walked off that flight with my hands in the sky, shocked, not surprised, that we made such quick and swift work of the Dodgers. You would think a team that just lost a World Series would have a little more fight once we went up 3-1 in the series but I should of known earlier in the day when I yelled at a guy with a Dodgers hat and he said he wasn’t really a fan. There was no chance the Dodgers, or any team in the National League, had a chance against this goliath of a team. Andrew Benintendi, Jackie Bradley (Ortiz) Jr., and the American League MVP, Mookie Betts, cover more ground than most teams would with four guys out there. Mookie struggled for a bit, but nothing like hitting a homer off Clayton Kershaw to break the drought and bust open the World Series clincher.
The bullpen was a huge story along with 2 out runs in this series. Almost every time we got down to two outs the chances of us scoring doubled. Especially if Steve Pearce, soon to be the name of my first born, was walking up to the plate. The guy has been locked in and it’s awesome to see someone who nobody even knew would be on the team come out and win the World Series MVP. Runner up was the man who really rewrote his own legacy this postseason. David Price was chucking it in this series and if Pearce wasn’t clubbing baseballs out of the park, Price would have been the MVP for sure. This was the best we’ve seen Price and it couldn’t have come at a better time. He was a monster this postseason and I wish he was getting some sort of an award. A World Series ring will have to do.
Our bullpen, with a stiff combination of Nathan Eovaldi, Joe Kelly, Ryan Brasier, and Craig Kimbrel, outmatched what the Dodgers brought to the plate. I don’t know if Joe Kelly is ever going to give up another hit again. He was ROLLING last night and had a perfect 0.00 ERA after pitching in all 5 games this series. Game 3’s Eovaldi performance was one for the ages. I want to hold on to him this offseason just because his grit rating is through the roof. To be able to do what he did in Game 3, then dub yourself good to go for Game 4 is psycho shit.
Alex Cora Winning a title in his first season doesn’t surprise me because we did it with John Farrell in 2013. What was surprising was the dominance of every team we faced in the playoffs this year. 11-3 is a pretty damn good postseason record and the moves he made pitching wise were phenomenal. You forget that if Cora doesn’t put our starters in the bullpen from the ALDS on that maybe by the World Series everyone’s arms are tired. Thank god it’s just Eovaldi’s and not Sale’s. Speaking of, having Chris Sale close out a 5-1 game should be a move warranted with a white flag. The Dodgers knew once they saw Sale that they just lost back to back world Series. Two more and LA is the new Buffalo.
The best part of this is what the Red Sox just set in motion for Boston as a city. The Celtics and Bruins are both just starting their seasons, but already we look like contenders in each sport. The Patriots seem to be on a collision course with the Chiefs so it’ll be interesting to see if we make a move before the trade deadline. However, the chances are very real that we can make the elusive 4 sport city sweep. Thank god the Red Sox won, really would of felt like I cursed us for saying such a thing but now the wheel is spinning and Brady’s coming for every QB record. Let’s get to Atlanta.
Initially, I wouldn’t touch this ship with a fifty foot pole. Getting on a boat named after the most famous shipwreck in boater(?) history is something that most people would swiftly turn down. However, my sails have shifted in my thought process around this replica of the Titanic. I am now, officially, fully on board with this remake and will be trying to get aboard the ship below for the maiden voyage from Dubai to New York.
“Titanic II will apparently be outfitted with plenty of life boats — and will have a welded, not riveted hull — plus modern navigation and radar equipment.” I don’t know the difference between a welded and a riveted hull, but I do know a lot of things have changed since 1908. We’re not dealing with the same dumpster fire that set sail 10 days before Fenway Park opened. It’s the 21st century, this mother fucker has radar and navigation, chunks of ice aren’t going to be popping up in the middle of nowhere and taking down this vessel. Did the ship in 1912 have wifi? Did that ship have people who could film the entire ship sinking for an electric snap story? To answer both questions — no.
In a perfect world, I’d have the 100,000 dollars that it cost’s to get onto Titanic II. But in this imperfect place that allows the Giants to cover on Monday Night Football, I know the likelihood of me attending this Dubai to New York trip will only be possible if I’m wearing an apron and cleaning cabins on the ship the entire time. It’s worst case scenario but there will 100% be jobs open due to the “save the passengers” mentality that sinking ships have. Either way, my long term goal is to get to Dubai and get on that ship. If it sinks, then you’ll know I died happily thinking of this Leo gif.