The Last Monday Weigh-In

We just finished the last Monday weigh-in of the $9,999.99 #WeightLossChallenge.  Here were the results:

#4.  Tim McAfee initially weighed-in at 243.0 pounds.  Last Friday he weighed-out at 217.8 pounds.  Today he weighed-in at 216.8, which means he lost 1 pound over the weekend and has lost 10.78% of his initial body weight.  Tim looks good!  He has always been a guy who looks like he can bend iron with his bare hands and now that he’s trimmed down he looks like a complete beast.

#3.  Digs initially weighed-in at 239.2 pounds.  Last Friday he weighed-out at 212.0 pounds.  Today he weighed-in at 212.6, which means he gained 0.6 pounds and has lost 11.12% of his body weight.  I think Digs allowed himself a little R&R this weekend.  I’m not going to judge.  Digs is a very handsome man and losing over 11% of his body wait has only added to his handsomeness.  I’m proud of this dude.  This is his second #WeightLossChallenge in 2 years.  He’s got grit.

#2.  Zito initially weighed-in at 261.6 pounds.  Last Friday he weighed-out at 218.0 pounds and surpassed me for the lead.  Today he weighed-in at 218.2, which means he gained 0.2 pounds and has lost 16.59% of his initial body weight.  It appears Zito allowed himself a little R&R this weekend as well.  He might’ve taken a page out of my book from earlier in this competition and decided he needed to get his body and mind a little break before going into battle this week.  This could be dangerous for me.  Zito has accomplished a great deal thus far in the competition.  His discipline and intestinal fortitude has surprised me.  I’m very proud of him as well.

#1.  I initially weigh-in at 219.8 pounds.  Last Friday I weighed-out at 185.8 pounds.  Today I weighed-in at 182.6, which means I lost 3.2 pounds over the weekend and have lost 16.92% of my initial body weight.  I traveled to Lexington, KY on Friday and did 2 comedy shows that night, 2 shows on Saturday and 1 show on Sunday and travelled back home last night.  

The comedy club in Lexington put us up in a very nice hotel surrounded by awesome restaurants and bars, which was very nice of them but I should’ve requested a Motel 6 out in the middle of nowhere.  Despite my surroundings, however, I managed to only consume a pickle spear wrapped in a slice of turkey on Friday night, 3 pieces of Jumbo shrimp on Saturday and 3 teaspoons of ahi tuna on Sunday.  I look and feel like a POW right now.

In addition to all my fat, I’ve lost a lot of muscle so this isn’t the best me physically.  Conversely, I do feel this is the best me mentally.  I have gone through some tough shit in my day but this #WeightLossChallenge is, mentally, the toughest thing I’ve ever had to endure.

Marine Corps boot camp was incredibly difficult, both mentally and physically, but I never felt like I had the option of quitting or not completing a task.  Every time I reached the breaking point, 3 drill instructors would scream in my face and threaten to hate stomp me.   It was like a shot of adrenaline straight to my heart.

In this competition, I’m a man on an island.  I’m Tom Hanks in Cast Away.  I’m the recruit and drill instructor.  When I reach a breaking point, I have to get in my own face and scare myself back into fight mode.  That has been extremely difficult, more difficult than I could’ve ever imagined.  But I do feel like I’m beginning to master it.  I feel like I’m in a bit of a zone right now.

I anticipate the last 5 days will be the hardest.  I’m only ahead of Zito by 0.33%.  He’s lost a total of 43.4 pounds thus far and I’ve lost a total of 37.2 pounds.  Because of our initial weight disparity I have a slight advantage with percentage of weight lost.  Here’s an example of how it looks on paper for this week.  

If I somehow manage to lose another 5 pounds by Friday and lose a total of 42.2 pounds, that puts me at a total weight loss percentage of 19.2%.  To tie me, Zito would only have to lose another 6.8 pounds, totaling 50.2.  So, It’s literally neck and neck at this point and unfortunately for me, Zito has a lot more neck.  Fortunately for me, I think I have more grit.  I also have one final trick up my sleeve that I’ve been saving for the final week.  It’s an all natural method to ditch some extra weight at the end that I’m relying on heavily to work.  I will not be consuming any food until the final weigh-out so I’m hoping that mixed with this final trick, will be enough to put me over the top.

Regardless of how it ends up, everyone should know that the Pat McAfee team is a family.  We are all brothers.  Zito, Digs and Tim have inspired me and pushed me to tap into this inner psycho that I wasn’t sure could ever be awakened again.  I’m grateful for them and the entire team here for getting me off my old, tired, fat ass and causing me to rediscover a younger, thinner and crazier me.

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Weight Loss Challenge 2019: The Final Stretch

This weight loss challenge between Digs (Anthony Diguilio), Zito (Jose Perez), Tim McAfee and I began on January 1st.  We’re now 25 days into this thing and we’ve entered the final stretch.  The last 7 days!

I am currently in the lead, pending today’s Friday Weigh-out.  I initially weighed in at 219.8 pounds.  This past Monday I weighed-in at 188.8.  So, I’m down 31 pounds overall which is 14.1% of my initial body weight.  Zito is a very close 2nd.  Zito initially weighed-in at 261 pounds and was down to 225.2 pounds, which is 13.91% of his original body weight.  The winner is decided by the highest percentage of weigh lost.  So, with Digs at 9.95% and Tim McAfee at 9.79% it seems mathematically impossible for either of them to catch either of us this late in the competition.

I honestly had no idea going into this thing, how much weight I would be able to lose.  I hadn’t tried to lose weight since my wrestling days in high school.  In fact, I had spent most of my life trying to gain weight.  It had also been a very long time since I actually competed in something.  When this competition began I was soon reminded about how psycho I am when it comes to competing.  If I’m competing in something that have a realistic chance of winning, I’d almost rather die than lose.  That’s a bit of an exaggeration but trust me when I say that I’m capable of pushing myself to the mental and physical limit.  Not everyone can do that and that has been my sole advantage.

I’ve limited myself to a strict Keto diet and I only eat between noon and 8pm.  I also limit myself to ridiculously small portions when I do eat.  Here’s an example of a typical weekday for me.  Around noon I eat half a chicken breast or a can of tuna.  Around 3pm I eat a few raw almonds.  For dinner I eat a few slices of cucumber and a half a chicken breast.  I allow myself a little more food on the weekends but add cardio workouts.  25 days of this so far.  How long could you do this?

It’s definitely a mindfuck.  I’m hungry all the time!  But there’s light at the end of the tunnel with only 7 days left.  I’m not sure if I have enough body mass left to prevent Zito from passing me in the last week, however.  He’s still overweight, even at this stage in the game which is an extreme advantage.  My body is down to cannabilizing muscle where he is still able to burn fat.  To complicate matters, we all are traveling to Atlanta to help shoot some stuff for Super Bowl Week so we’ll spend the last 3 days of the challenge on the road, which eliminates any chance of me resulting to crazy wrestler tactics.

It’s going to be interesting to see how this last week pans out.  The deck is definitely stacked against me but I will be pulling every trick in the book that I have available to me.  I do have my inner psycho to lean on, so we’ll see what he can do.

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I’m certainly missing food… I’m in withdrawals instead of scratching my neck, I scratch my belly to try to stop all of my stomach growls. But I knew this was going to happen. Last time it took about six days to get use to the to this new habit. This time I’m guessing it’ll take about four days to get passed this meth like withdrawals. Also having food dream nightmares aren’t fun at all. In the nightmare I was in the kitchen with every accomplished chef and they were making all of my favorite meals. I have to get all of those evil thoughts out and stick to the one salad a day.

Also my boy copley sent me this idea and I may or may of not purchased this bad boy.

Can’t gain weight if you’re always moving. I just made that up and I think it’s going to stick. But on the real I’ve never felt better…actually feel somewhat healthy instead of stuffing my face with a burger at 9am.

SPOILER AHEAD: So I weighed in at 261 and some change and I think I’m dahn 4 or 5 already one day in with this “diet”. Yeah I get thats all water weight but I’ve never felt more confident for a 40 pound weight loss in my life.

Also I love how everyone is joining in on this challenge. Last time when we did this challenge it was really cool to see so many people reach out and ask or to give tips. We’re all on the same team so let’s shed some pounds and  thank you for the support lets do this.   

So make sure to head over to Mybookie and place your bets you have until January 3rd, lets bankrupt them and make a shit load of money. 

From the Desk of Director of Morale

I’m Too Skinny For This Weight Loss Challenge

I don’t know how the odds are going to end up for this weight loss challenge but I have to be the underdog.  I’m facing Zito (260), Tim McAfee (240) and Digs (230).  Right now, I’m walking around at 205.  If this was last year’s NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, I’m Loyola Chicago.

How the hell can I pull this off?  I don’t have a Sister Jean!  And I’m pretty sure I’m not on real high on God’s list of favorites.  But I do have one thing in my corner and that’s fucking GRIT.  Is grit enough?  Nope.  I need to sprinkle some strategy on top of that grit.

I’ve made no secret about my plan in the office.  I’ve told everyone what it is  so now they have no excuse for not beating me.  My goal is to put 20 pounds on by the first weigh-in on January 1st.  I need to be 225 at the start of this thing.  Zito won the last weight loss challenge by dropping 34 pounds.  Right now, if I drop 35 pounds I’d weigh 170.  I’d be sick as hell.  I’d end up in a damn hospital.  As far as extra weight, I have an old guy gut, which I figure accounts for 15 pounds at the most.  Once that’s gone, the only way I’m losing weight is starvation.  So, if I don’t start with that extra 20 pounds I’m fucked.

I have to eat my ass off this month.  Carbs, sugar, protein and beer until I’m sick.  Then do it again!  I need to get disgusting.  These guys have way more extra weight to shed than I do and you can’t beat science.  We are doing it as a weight loss percentage, based on your initial weigh-in – so even though that is a little better for me than strictly going off pounds lost, I’m still at a big disadvantage.

God did gift me the ability to put on muscle quickly.  I haven’t taken advantage of that in a decade or so but now its time.  So, in addition to stuffing as much bad shit into my mouth as possible, I also plan to do as much heavy lifting as possible.  I have to hammer the low rep, high weight workouts.  If I’m going to be able to put on 20 extra pounds, half of that will have to be in muscle or I won’t make it.  Then come January 1, I don’t lift anything heavier than a coffee mug.  It’s all diet and cardio.  That’s the plan.

This is a weight loss challenge, so if I want to compete with the big boys – I have to become a big boy.  I’ll never be able to get as big as Zito because my genes are too good, but if I can at least get close to Digs then I have a shot.  Because when it comes down to the final week…I got that grit.  I figure grit can shed an extra 10 pounds if I need it.  If I have to stop eating and go to straight vitamin supplements and water just to keep me alive for 7 days…I think I got it in me.  I just have to wake up that crazy young Marine that lives down deep in my gut and let him take over for a week.  Sure, my lady might have to go stay with her mom that week so she doesn’t murder me in my sleep, but we’re talking 10 grand here.  We’re talking about NOT LOSING TO ZITO! We’re talking about one last chance to shock the world!  

What I’m saying is, when it comes time to make that bet on MyBookie…don’t sleep on your Uncle Todd.  He ain’t an easy out.

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