Todd Gurley, Alvin Kamara, and Troy Polamalu are bullies

Catchy headline.. that’s step 1 to this blog game I’ve been learning.

Mr Gurley and Kamara didn’t bully anybody.. They just let somebody know that they shouldn’t have stumbled and fell like Tom Brady.

Tom’s the 🐐, but this was tough for the TB12 Brand

Anyways.. back to the bullies.

They couldn’t help it but let Zeek know that this was supposed to be a highlight that lives on the internet and on our TVs FOREVER.. NFL’s greatest plays type of stuff.. it was supposed to be a highlight that ends with a tudder. A celebration. All of that good stuff..

Wild bullying in the comments section.

I often wonder how it’d feel to be that athletic.. it’s a real shame that I’ll never know what it feels like to hurdle a fully sized human…

or score a touchdown in the NFL.

Thanks Troy Polamalu.

Troy stole all of my dreams. Like the Grinch stole Christmas. Picked up all of my touchdown dreams, stuffed them in his sack, and walked away.

Dez Bryant Did Not Pass Away & Brandon Marshall Could Kill The Saints.

All day yesterday players on the Saints and around the league were throwing up the X for Dez Bryant and I had to go back and make sure that I read the headlines correct that he tore his achilles and did not in fact die.

You probably thought I was going to bash players for showing respect to a player that got hurt before taking a snap for a team this year but you would be wrong. I actually think it’s pretty cool. I love what the Saints offense does and I was really looking forward to see what they did with Dez. Dez was stuck on that Cowboys team forever and he just wanted a chance to win and I respect that. It also shows how close of a locker room the Saints have that a guy can be there for 36 hours and they already have his back.

I’m happy to hear that Sean Peyton is open to bringing Dez back for next year. Dez is a very passionate player and there is always room in the NFL for players like that. 

Now as the great Poets Semisonic said “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” With Dez Bryant being hurt that opens a spot for the Saints to sign someone else. That someone else being Brandon Marshall.

This is what I said last week about the possibility of the Saints signing Brandon Marshall…. 

Why not Brandon Marshall you ask? I love Brandon Marshall but there is one stat about Brandon Marshall that makes him unsignable (spell check is telling me that unsignable is probably not a word but they can go fuck themselves). Brandon Marshall has played 13 seasons, has 970 catches for 12,351 yards, and has 83 career touchdowns. Do you know what Brandon Marshall does not have? A PLAYOFF APPEARANCE. If you sign Brandon Marshall your season will DIE. Brees will get hurt, Bridgewater will blow out his robotic knee, Kamara’s nose will get ripped off by the ring, Goodell will retroactively suspend Michael Thomas for 9 games for cell phone usage, and Hue Jackson will somehow become coach. The Saints would burn.

The above remains true but My guess is that they think whatever voodoo Drew Brees is working with is strong than the curse of Brandon Marshall. 

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Check That, The Saints Didn’t get better

Thats TOUGH. Achilles injuries are the absolute worst and they are saying it happened on the last play of practice. Looks like everything I said below now means nothing. Except that the Saints can still not sign Brandon Marshall. 

Below is what I wrote yesterday about why the Saints should sign Dez Bryant. Because I am a smart knowledgable football mind they took my advice seriously and have Signed Dez Bryant.

Dear Saints, You have to sign Dez. YOU CANNOT SIGN BRANDON MARSHALL. Lets take a quick look at who the Saints leading receivers on the season:

As far as receivers, after Michael Thomas the next most productive receivers are Ted Ginn & Tre’Quan Smith with 12 catches each. TWELVE, and they still are the #2 scoring offense in the league. Imagine if they had ANY other receiving threat…. 

I know Dez was not great the last few years but he was also receiving balls from Romo for a few games, Matt Cassel, Kellen Moore, Brandon Weeden, and Dak. No offense to that steaming pile of shit list I just typed but they aren’t Drew Brees. Dez would also not have to be the number 1, Michael Thomas is an animal and has that spot held down pretty well. 

I think Dez has reached that point in his career where he has matured (besides all the tweets attacking the Cowboys) and he just wants to win. I mean he did make the smart decision of not signing with the Browns & Ravens, 2 horrible franchises. This is a win win for the Saints. You sign him for not much money and he either preforms or he stinks and you just go back to your offense that is already putting up over 30 a game. 

Why not Brandon Marshall you ask? I love Brandon Marshall but there is one stat about Brandon Marshall that makes him unsignable (spell check is telling me that unsignable is probably not a word but they can go fuck themselves). Brandon Marshall has played 13 seasons, has 970 catches for 12,351 yards, and has 83 career touchdowns. Do you know what Brandon Marshall does not have? A PLAYOFF APPEARANCE. If you sign Brandon Marshall your season will DIE. Brees will get hurt, Bridgewater will blow out his robotic knee, Kamara’s nose will get ripped off by the ring, Goodell will retroactively suspend Michael Thomas for 9 games for cell phone usage, and Hue Jackson will somehow become coach. The Saints would burn. 

Side Note: Kamar Aiken is coming in for a visit as well and no one cares.

Do the right thing, sign Dez, Brees wins MVP, Saints play in Super Bowl. Book all of those now.

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