PMS 2.0 038 – Mike Florio, Pro Football Talk, & Kris Jenner

On today’s show, Pat and the guys do a DEEP dive into the Divisional Round of the playoffs and cover everything else that happened in the NFL over the weekend. They chat about the Patriots not being dead, the Chiefs dominating victory over the Colts, the Rams looking like one of the best teams in the NFL, and Nick Foles seeing his magic run out. Gorms also talks a bit about his weekend going to the Colts/Chiefs game on the private jet with Jim Irsay. Later, friend of the show, Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk calls in for a nice hearty football discussion. They bounce around from the playoffs, his schedule now that the football season is almost over, and what he thinks about all the different coaching changes thus far. The room also fires several questions at Florio ranging from AB potentially playing in San Francisco or somewhere else, if the Packers made a good decision in Matt LaFleur, how he settled on Pro Football Talk, and who he thinks will win the Super Bowl (1:26:34-2:10:13). Pat also debuts a new segment, “Let’s Get Topical,” as he discusses who might be out to get The Rock after a UK magazine misquoted him in an interview, and the conspiracy behind the Instagram egg that took over Kylie Jenner for the most liked picture on the app. It’s a really good one. Come and laugh with us, cheers.

The Colts Have a Running Game Baby!

The Colts beat the red hot Dallas Cowboys 23-0 without Andrew Luck throwing a touchdown!  What the hell is happening?!  Frank Reich’s creation has come to life!  That’s what’s happening!

When the Colts first started to bounce back from their 1-5 start, we saw the defense playing well enough to keep the game close so Luck and the offense had plenty of opportunity to score.  Now the defense has progressed to the point that they’re playing well enough to win games on their own!  They just shut out the Cowboys!  This is NOT traditional Colts football.  Colts fans are used to a system where our offense has to score on nearly every possession to pull out a win.  Do we finally have a coach that subscribes to the theory that defense wins championships?  It appears so!

Another big reason the Colts started turning this season around was that the offensive live was finally protecting Andrew Luck.  For the first time in his career Luck had time to let plays fully develop and wasn’t picking himself up off the carpet after every play.  Now, the offensive line is not only protecting their QB, they’re actually opening up running lanes.  Turns out, Marlon Mack is a very talented running back!  He just needed a little daylight, that’s all.  It’s much easier to run through a door when its open.

Speaking of open doors, big shout out to Ryan Kelly and Mo Alie-Cox for a dominant performance on the line last night!  We knew Ryan Kelly was a beast.  We just needed him to be healthy enough to play.  But what a find in Mo Allie-Cox!  Mo Alie-Cox is not just another athletic tight end with good hands.  He’s a physical specimen!  He’s 6’6″ – 260!  And unlike most former hoop stars turned tight end, this dude can block!

Every NFL team in the playoff hunt should be praying to their God or their science or their cult leader, whoever they think controls their destiny…that the Indianapolis Colts don’t make the playoffs this year because they might be the most well-rounded and dangerous team in the league right now.  They are Frank Reich’s monster!

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Digs’ Sunday NFL Picks

There’s nothing like gambling on an NFL Sunday. It can bring you the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. All of your bets can be looking amazing at 3PM only to have your heart ripped out by 4PM. NFL gambling is a fickle bitch and is not for the faint of heart. With that being said lets get into todays picks.

FALCONS -7 @ BROWNS, O/U 51

Falcons have won 3 in a row and are starting to get hot at the right time while the Browns are still the Browns even though they got rid of the worst coach of all time. I liked the line much better at 5 but I would still roll with the Falcons who have much more to play for than the Browns. Oh and Julio remembered how to score TD’s again. 

LIONS +7.5 @ BEARS, O/U 44.5

This one is pretty simple for me. The public is HIGH on the Bears while the Lions have fallen off in the public eye the last 2 weeks. The Bears offense is not good enough to be a 7 point favorite against the Lions. This line should’ve been more like 3-4 points so I am rolling with the LIONS all day especially with that pesky little hook at the end.

JAGUARS +3 @ COLTS, O/U 48

If there is a bet that’s going to fuck me today it’s going to be this one. I am banking on he Jaguars remembering how to play football with them coming off a bye and getting Fournette back. I know the Colts O line is better than it has been the last few years but they are young and I’m thinking the Jags D line causes fits all day long. Give me the Jags and the points. 

EAGLES -8 vs COWBOYS, O/U 45

Eagles and Doug Pederson coming off a bye facing the Jason Garrett led Cowboys. Thats a mismatch if i’ve ever seen one. The Cowboys can’t score and will continue to not score against the Eagles. As long as the eagles get to 24 points this one shouldn’t be an issue. Eagles -8 at home on Sunday Night

And just like every other day. Make sure you parlay those. Nothing worse than going 4-0 and realizing if you parlayed you would’ve won so much more. 

Good Luck to Everyone. Bet at MyBookie.ag and follow those bets on the Sports Action App. Follow my picks at myaction.app/Digs

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I Don’t Trust Nick Mullens For The Dumbest Reason Of All Time

After Kyle Shanahan confirmed Nick Mullens is going to start on Monday Night I was excited for the young man to perform during another primetime game but I also know that I can’t trust Nick Mullens to be consistently good. He’s doomed to have bad games and make horrible throws. Why you ask? Well he suffers from a rare QB condition that is incurable. There are ways to manage the condition and have good games but it will eventually doom him and his career. The condition is known as “ROMOEYEITUS” (Romo-eye-itus). Named after former QB and now weird announcer Tony Romo. It’s an extremely rare condition. Nick Mullens is only the 3rd QB to ever be diagnosed with said condition. The other 2 being Tony Romo (Obviously) and Mitch Trubisky. The only way to tell if your QB has this condition is to look into the eyes. This condition is strictly about the eyes, the eyes tell all. If your QB has beady little black eyes then they have Romoeyeitus. If this is the case, Sorry for your loss. Please see example A,B and C below. 

Tony Romo
Nick Mullens
Mitch Trubisky

Symptoms include: Good arm talent, Above average scrambling ability, Poor decision making, shitty ball security, Lacking the clutch gene, Throws nice interceptable ball, Weak back/shoulder/collar bone, Will be just good enough to keep around for a decade.

Please watch this educational video for Examples of what this rare condition can lead to. 

Tony Romo Calling His Own Bad Plays

You can call me an idiot now but when this blog is in the American Journal of Medicine I will have the last laugh. 

I’d also like it to be known that I am rooting for Mitch and Nick to overcome this condition and not succumb to it like Tony did. With advancements in todays medicine there is always a hope. 

https://store.patmcafeeshow.com/collections/t-shirts/products/t-shirt-cheatcodebears

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Degenerate Digs’ MNF Pick

Titans (+5/+6) @ Cowboys, O/U 40.5

The Cowboys are 3-4, the Titans are 3-4. Have the Cowboys really looked that much better than the Titans that it should be a 5 to 6 point spread? I don’t think so. Last time we saw these teams the Cowboys were losing to the Redskins on a last second kick while the Titans were across the pond going for 2 and the win against the Chargers. All these teams do is play close games. The Titans have had 5 games decided by 3 points or less and the Cowboys have had 4, I see it going that way tonight. Both teams are in the bottom 6 of offense and the top 2 in defense so everything leans towards this being a low scoring close game

Both teams are also coming off byes and I trust the Titans coaching staff much more than I do that white rice, plain oatmeal, clapping smiling robot piece of shit on the Cowboys sideline. You couldn’t have 2 more opposites in coaches than Vrabel who plays to win every game and Garrett who plays to not lose.

With all of that being said I’m going to go with the TITANS +5 & UNDER 40.5

Good Luck to Everyone. Bet at MyBookie.ag and follow those bets on the Sports Action App.  Follow my picks at myaction.app/Digs

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There is No “Hard Knocks” Curse

Scrolling through Twitter I saw a “Moment” (still not sure what even qualifies as a moment) with tweets discussing a so called Hard Knocks Curse.

Look at that list, this is not a curse. This is water finding it’s level. The Madden curse exists because good players with high expectations are hurt or perform poorly in the year they appear on the cover. These were bad head coaches with awful teams and mostly low expectations. Obviously in the wake of the Hue Jackson and Todd Haley firings (lol Cleveland) yesterday, everyone was reminded of this iconic moment from earlier this season…

We all knew it wasn’t if, but when Hue would get the axe. What we didn’t know is that Todd would be hitting the unemployment line for the second time in a calendar year. Turns out the Browns are BAD. A tale as old as time, but still rings true to this day. Hard Knocks is a fantastic series, but can also work as a phenomenal propaganda machine spreading misinformation even more powerful than any Russian hacker or North Korean dictator. A few slow motion shots of a spiraling ball, a killer beat in the background, some fiery coach speak dubbed over top, and as a fan you’re ready to run through a damn brick wall. The excitement around the Browns was palpable, #1 overall stud QB, two of the best WR’s in the game, a stable of productive and high quality RB’s, a promising rookie CB. This was the year… until it wasn’t. 

To put it simply the thing about Hard Knocks is it’s a TV show. NFL Coaches, GMs, and owners absolutely HATE distractions. You can essentially pin reality TV show at the top of any certified list of distractions, it’s the poster boy. Teams DO NOT want to be a part of Hard Knocks, especially good teams. For years the only teams Hard Knocks was being “gifted” to were not great. Most of it is a collection of some the NFL’s most forlorn franchises. Let’s look at the list of teams and their records.

The first year is their previous record/The second is their record after appearing on the show:

Baltimore Ravens – 2000 record: 12-4   2001 record: 10-6
Dallas Cowboys – 2001 record: 5-11   2002 record: 5-11
Kansas City Chiefs – 2006 record: 9-7   2007 record: 4-12
Dallas Cowboys – 2007 record: 13-3   2008 record: 9-7
Cincinnati Bengals – 2008 record: 4-11-1   2009 record: 10-6
New York Jets – 2009 record: 9-7   2010 record: 11-5
Miami Dolphins – 2011 record: 6-10   2012 record: 7-9
Cincinnati Bengals – 2012 record: 10-6   2013 record: 11-5
Atlanta Falcons – 2013 record: 4-12   2014 record: 6-10
Houston Texans – 2014 record: 9-7   2015 record: 9-7
Los Angeles Rams – 2015 record: 7-9   2016 record: 4-12
Tampa Bay Buccaneers – 2016 record: 9-7   2017 record: 5-11
Cleveland Browns – 2017 record: 0-16    2018 record: 2-5-1

Outside of Baltimore in 2000 and Dallas in 2007 none of these are exactly powerhouses rolling out the red carpet for HBO cameras. The Ravens actually coming off of a SuperBowl win was a huge get in the premiere season, but let’s be honest they were bound to suffer a setback after letting go of Trent Dilfer… There’s a reason you don’t see the modern successful franchises on this show, the Steelers, the Patriots, the Packers. Great organizations do not want to deal with the distraction.

The argument there is some kind of curse seems silly. These are honestly just average to bad teams that are being featured. Expecting them to suddenly become playoff teams or post double digit wins is fairy tale stuff. The NFL and HBO know this and that’s why they changed the requirements for Hard Knocks a few years ago. Teams are now exempt from the all seeing eye of HBO if they meet any of the following requirements:

1) They have a first-year head coach in place 
2) They have a playoff berth in the past two seasons 
3) They have appeared on Hard Knocks in the past 10 years

While #2 hurts the chances of seeing great teams featured the other two rules certainly helps increase the odds of not seeing the bottom feeders every single year. If the show continues long enough eventually you will see a more storied and successful franchise featured, but until then any curse talk is misguided. No curse, just stink. 

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PMS 2.0 015 – Grandpa McAfee, NFL Recap, & Aliens

On today’s show, Pat recaps a wild weekend dressing up as a grandpa and hammering field goals for cancer research at the Colts game, the guys dive into a full NFL recap including Hue Jackson wanting to call plays for the Browns again, Amari Cooper being traded to the Cowboys for a 1st round pick, the Titans going for 2 and the win in London, the judgement call that affected the outcome of the Cowboys and Redskins, and Justin Tucker missing his first career extra point. Pat also rants about the CFL’s post about who they think the best kicker on the planet is, the guys chat about Elon Musk definitely being an alien and his series of tunnels slated to open in LA in December, discuss Rae Carruth being released from prison, and cover everything else going on in the world. It’s a good one. Come laugh with us, cheers.

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