102 Year Old Lady Dies Skydiving

Just kidding, she didn’t die, but she has to be at least tapping the bucket with her foot. 

https://twitter.com/tictoc/status/1072035622792110080

Yeah, that’s right, Strega Nona is 102 years old now, feel old yet? In all seriousness this lady is a badass. There’s not many people that live life to the fullest that are a quarter the age of this lady right here so I’m glad I saw such a great video. I do think her heart is in the wrong place though. Australia is fantastic but if you’re 102 jumping out of an airplane somebody should probably be paying you for this extraordinary feat. I added the video below because I saw it immediately after this one and I want everyone to watch how horrible the Tik Tok app is. This should not be allowed to be seen by human eyes. This lady is literally dead and somebody is just filming her dying. What a wild place for someone to be on an app named after a Kesha song and what a wild world that a family member didn’t smack the shit out of whoever was filming. 

https://twitter.com/KenJac/status/1072348094187089920

Seriously, that video is one of the craziest things I’ve seen in 2018. Strega Nona should find this person just to get revenge for the old people of the Solar System. I say solar system cause if there are videos like this out there, some sort of alien race is coming to obliterate this planet. Aliens don’t fuck with messing with older people, they always take them first in an alien invasion and wear their skin to blend in. Takes the pain away for the old people and then they don’t have to be apart of the enslavement process. Aliens are very elderly friendly, have to respect that.

Twitter: @BostonConnr

Instagram: @BostonConnr

Space X Launched 64 Satellites Into Space And Aliens Attack Tomorrow

CNN – SpaceX delivered 64 satellites into orbit in one fell swoop for a record-setting mission. This marks the 19th launch for SpaceX in 2018.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oz8xT7aax7lUX2ePe

Elon Musk is up to something and so are all the aliens that are rolling around our planet right now. A few days ago there were tremors underneath our ocean all over the word and now we launched 64 satellites into space? If you think that’s a coincidence then you are kidding yourself and you’re probably waiting for Santa to drop presents under your tree. Expect one of these satellites to pick up a image like the one above of a couple aliens circling our planet laughing about the future of the human race cause they know we’ll soon be enslaved.  

https://giphy.com/gifs/aliens-hqg-RluM0kvZXkLS0

The real worry for me is why SpaceX doesn’t let everyone know about why the hell they are doing these things. Clicking the CNN at the top of this article will show you the video, but the reason being to make “space travel easier” isn’t good for us. If anything, it makes me think that the things going on in the ocean are just aliens that are trying to leave the planet that Elon Musk promised he could get home. Moreover, they probably celebrated by swimming around the entire world and thats what those waves rumbling around the Earth are all about. I’m becoming increasingly more scared as I write this but the logic is all there and that is the real scare in this alien situation. 

https://giphy.com/gifs/southparkgifs-l3vR6sRjSyWLPWMhy

The ideal way things turn out is the one above. We are the reality show for the entire universe and they love us so much they decide not to blow us up. The worry lies with the aliens that are currently swimming around our ocean looking for something to do. Hopefully Elon is just trying to send his alien friends in the ocean back to their home planet with all these satellites but still, the ocean aliens are a dangerous breed. Let’s hope we aren’t going to be getting cuckolded by the creatures of the deep from Space and Elon knows what these aliens are about. 

Twitter: @BostonConnr

Instagram: @BostonConnr

Aliens Revisit Stonehenge

BBCThe Irish Aviation Authority is investigating reports of bright lights and UFOs off the south-west coast of Ireland.

She wanted to know if there were military exercises in the area because there was something “moving so fast”. The air traffic controller said there were no such exercises.

He said there were “multiple objects following the same sort of trajectory” and that they were very bright. The pilot said he saw “two bright lights” over to the right which climbed away at speed.

https://giphy.com/gifs/sci-fi-QFNpEeQABcMEw

Aliens have completely stopped caring about whether or not we know they are messing around in our planet. Remember when it was a big deal for Aliens to stay in hiding? Honestly, I can’t anymore because aliens have lost their ninja silence touch. Now, they’re zooming past every plane under the moonlight over the United Kingdom. For sure think that these guys were down looking at Stonehenge just to check in on the old spot where these aliens must have first landed. If something was going so fast that an airplane pilot thought military planes were zooming by them but there weren’t any military planes in the air, than it was a UFO. 

https://giphy.com/gifs/historyuk-aliens-giorgio-ancient-3oEjI789af0AVurF60

I can see the meteor argument here, especially for dudes flying planes, but the kicker is the last part of the excerpts. The pilot said he saw “two bright lights” over to the right which climbed away at speed. If these ships start shooting up towards Space and the debate here is meteors then this isn’t a debate at all. 2019 might be coming out all Team Alien and I don’t enjoy it one bit. It seems to be the time that aliens make a run at the title and the prize happens to be Earth. I have faith in our defense systems but if these things are zooming around the Earth like its nobodies business than that war will look like the Jets playing the Chiefs. Our only chance might be the alien that is living inside Elon Musk so lets hope he doesn’t ditch our planet with whatever SpaceX shit he has cooking up.

https://giphy.com/gifs/funny-dancing-news-RJddmVhFR04GisOuII

@BostonConnr

Harvard Scientists Confirm Aliens Are Probably Real

https://twitter.com/nbcbayarea/status/1059664190951043072

This isn’t good, folks. If these scientists from Harvard are as smart as we think they are, it appears they discovered an alien spacecraft tumbling past the sun in late 2017, which more than likely means we are moving closer and closer to some sort of global event. The only question that remains is whether it will be an Independence Day/Mars Attacks! type of situation or an Arrival type of situation.

Luckily for us, if this is some sort of Alien spacecraft, I think their technology has been vastly over exaggerated. This “spacecraft” looks like a floating piece of shit, not some destroyer that could come in and demolish the earth in a moment’s notice. It’s like seeing the floating piece of shit from Joe Dirt drift past the earth and assuming we’re all doomed. If this is what they’re working with, I have no doubts that if they decided to attack, we could send a WWII-era bomber (or any plane with propellers) up there and take it out in one fell swoop. I can see everyone at NASA laughing their asses off right now, roasting these poor aliens.

But just in case this vehicle is some sort of shape shifter and I’m vastly underselling its technological superiority and we need to send the United States Space Force into the Fog of War, here’s a video for you to mull over if some sort of attack is imminent.

What do you guys think? Is this cause for concern, or would the Space Force take this vessel down with enough time to be back home for some hot chow? It really could go either way.

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