The Boston Red Sox Held A Parade Yesterday And I Wasn’t There

23 years strong I went without missing a Boston Sports Championship Parade and yesterday was the first one I have ever missed.
Me watching through twitter yesterday

I slammed my laptop closed the first time I went to write this because I was at an all time hump day low. However, I have gathered myself just enough to piece together the Parade post that I know so many of you Red Sox fans want to read. I took the liberty of pulling just a few of my favorite scenes from yesterday’s glorious occasion, nearly a holiday, as the Red Sox duck boated around the city of Boston. First, the train ride into the city for the championship parade was one of my favorite parts about being apart of Titletown USA. All bets are off when that train comes and you gotta elbow your way towards the old commuter rail. You’d think it would be a push pull situation, but if theres any room, you better believe you’re getting pulled up by some champion of men to get you to the city. No pushing when it comes to helping people get up on the train. For a city known as being full of a bunch of mean pricks (not wrong), we know when to turn it off and just enjoy being part of the greatest sports city in the world.

Not knowing Steve Pearce grew up a Sox and Pats fan made this video a little tougher to watch, again, utterly distraught that I wasn’t there. But this fucking guy is such an animal I bet he drank thirty beers on that Duck Boat. Sounds like he already had a few Jack and Cokes before he went on the stage, but he could’ve shit into the mic and walked off, he’s immortalized either way.

The last championship parade the Red Sox had, David Ortiz was also carrying the MVP trophy in his duck boat. Now, he slams tequila and talks shit with Pedro Martinez which raises the huge question, will we ever have a Red Sox parade without Oritz? Answer: Absolutely, positively, 1,000%, no. David Ortiz is Red Sox royalty and he can hoist the trophies he helped win anytime, any place. Also, if David Ortiz wants to come to your party, you’re not going to say no. The guy is a walking light bulb he’s so electric as a human being.

This is what makes the parade so incredible. It’s not just the degenerate college kids and die hard fans that come out to get belligerent and party in the streets. EVERYONE in Boston stops what they’re doing to pay their respects to the team that made the great journey known as the MLB season. You know its legit when Construction guys are taking some time to do arts and crafts and draw up a few World Championship signs. This will always be the best Red Sox team in Sox history and I can’t wait to see how many Mookie ends his career with. Parades don’t get old, same way championships don’t. Maybe I’ll make it out there for the one in February.

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