Russia’s Robots Are So Futuristic They’re Humans

Russia is doing some shit and I know it seems like this is just Russia making people think they have no robots, but by doing this it solidifies one things: Russia has some crazy robots in their arsenal. For those of you who can’t read Russian, the above caption says “Russian Robot does Macarena and whole crowd goes wild. This Robot will destroy an entire civilization in 16 days.” My Russian is a little shaky but I’m pretty sure that’s what it says and when I say I’m pretty sure, you know I don’t know shit about that gibberish. If I was in that Russian room of terror I would of been shaking with fear of this robot sending out five mini missiles like Tony Stark. One second he’s doing the Macarena, the next, he’s charging up his hand cannons ready to blow anything out of the water.

However, in a shocking turn of events, this robot isn’t a robot at all and the population of Russia has never played a game of chess in their lives. Just checkers and more checkers over there.

Yeah, that’s right, Russia is just dressing people up like robots and acting like they have some sort of godly technology. I have to say, I’m impressed with their diligence in attempting to hide the fact their robots are just humans. With that being said, the photo of the guy getting ready to act like a robot is very staged. Russia has to be throwing this out there, setting their whole country up to look like dingbats only to reveal they have a fleet of hulk sized Iron Men ready to rip the barrels off guns and flip tanks. At this point in the robot saga, I’m almost over the inevitability of us getting dominated by these metal creatures. Best case scenario is that the robots are like this and they just rip us apart instead of having big computer brains and making us their slaves as they try to contact another computer in a far off galaxy. Wow, huge turn of events in my brain and now robots are contacting aliens to have them come here and save them from humans. Definitely could see robots doing this and someone should notify Elon Musk to see if any of his distant brothers on Mars have heard anything in the radio waves. Going forward, if you see a “robot” try and pull of his head, might be a human under there.

Twitter: @BostonConnr

Instagram: @BostonConnr