British Man Hasn’t Set Foot On Land In 5 Months

The Great British Swim, huh? What a huge waste of time this sounds like. Back in my day, people would swim the English Channel if they wanted to flex nuts. Now don’t get me wrong, this is an unreal accomplishment, something very few people on this earth would be able complete… but what’s the point? Outside of breaking a Guinness World Record, there doesn’t seem to be too much value in it. Not to mention, this fella is going to be talking about this every day for the rest of his life. See him in a local pub, expect to hear about the time he spent over 157 days swimming around Great Britain. Oh you just got a promotion at work? Here’s a picture of me completing the #GreatBritishSwim. Ronaldo is being loaned to Manchester United, that’s crazy! Yeah, almost as crazy as the time I floated around Britain for around 5 months.

This fucking guy slept on a support board while he wasn’t swimming, in what was undoubtedly the worst 5 months of his life. Every time one of these types of feats goes viral, people forget about it within days, and you never hear from that person ever again.

Again, hats off to this guy, I’m sure his family is very proud of him, and this is something he can hang his hat on for the rest of his life, but I think it’s safe to say that the majority of humanity would rather spend 5 months in prison than swimming in circles in cold ass water and eating barnacles for sustenance. Either way, congrats, Ross. Enjoy a couple pints of Carlsberg at your local pub before everyone goes back to not giving a shit about this incredible feat.