PMS 2.0 044 – Tim Tebow, Schefter, & Superb Owl Chatter

Today’s show is a great one. First, former Heisman Trophy winner, 1st round draft pick of the Denver Broncos, the greatest college football player of all-time and current outfielder in the New York Mets organization, Tim Tebow, joins the show from Top Golf in Atlanta for an incredible conversation. They discuss what it was like being Tim Tebow in college, his transition to the NFL and the most difficult part, talks a little bit about his perspective about life, chats more about his MLB aspirations and what his walkup song will be, and how he handles all the scrutiny every time he does something (4:51-27:37). Also joining the show is the king of scoops himself, one of the best in the game at his job, the creator of the “Adam Bomb,” Adam Schefter. They discuss what Super Bowl week is like for him, the guys dig for a couple updates on some scoops, what he thinks is going to happen with the Antonio Brown situation, and the stresses of having troll Twitter accounts make fake news with his name and having to deal with the repercussions (55:54-1:13:46). The guys also recap the entire Super Bowl week from Top Golf and who some of their favorite guests were and which people surprised them. They also recap the weight loss competition, and dive into their thoughts on the Super Bowl, the commercials, and Boston Connor chats about his experience seeing the Patriots win a Super Bowl in person. It’s a great one. Come and laugh with us, cheers.

Has Anybody’s Life Changed Quicker Than This Girl’s?

https://twitter.com/rachelzegler/status/1073664369681141760
https://twitter.com/amblin/status/1084919754601558016

Can you imagine someone’s life changing quicker than Rachel Zegler’s life changed forever yesterday? Going from an unassuming, average high school student who loves theatre and school plays and then BOOM, you get casted in Steven Spielberg’s new adaptation of ‘West Side Story.’ Pretty fucking wild 24 hours for her I assume. West Side Story is one of the most popular stories of all-time. Every old from here to LA has a heart warming tale about the first time they saw West Side Story. The last film they made about this won Best Picture at the 1961 Academy Awards. Now you’ve got Spielberg coming on board to direct after he’s had a series of minor missteps (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull or whatever the fuck it’s called was the start of his run of bad luck.)

If I were Rachel, I think today would be the perfect opportunity to start dancing on some graves at school. Certain guy she liked didn’t want to take her to homecoming? “Oh, I’m sorry we’re not going to be able to hangout for awhile, Steven doesn’t like me to be away from set too long.” A couple mean girls keep giving her shit for being a thespian? “What’re you guys up to next month, I’M GOING TO BE A LEAD ACTRESS IN A FUCKING STEVEN SPIELBERG MOVIE.” If there was ever a time to be a bitch and get some sweet, sweet redemption for anytime that she has been wronged, now is your time to shine. Strike while the iron is hot. I could care less about the movie, the music will probably be incredible, but the whole is more than likely to just be a retread of the original. Still pretty cool that this girl got plucked from obscurity and if she’s being groomed by Spielberg, it stands to reason she could be on her way to a lucrative and successful film career. 

https://twitter.com/DEADLINE/status/1084919551806980096

30,000 fucking people. Good for her. Doesn’t have to worry about essays, tests, school work, curfews, all of that bullshit is for the birds. She’s going to be a star now, and star’s don’t put up with this kind of bullshit. Break a leg, Maria.

@tyschmit

Bird Box Is The Most Watched Netflix Original Ever

https://twitter.com/NetflixFilm/status/1078735051406204928
https://twitter.com/tyschmit/status/1079625869948342272

(That’s a high concept Bird Box joke)

That’s a lot of fucking streams over a one week period. Granted, those 45,000,000+ streams probably came from about 1,500 Netflix accounts, but those are still startling numbers. It’s taken over the cultural zeitgeist, and chances are you’ve seen several memes related to Bird Box. The first hour/hour fifteen or so are incredible. Straight balls to the walls intensity that you can’t take your eyes off of (that’s another Bird Box joke). In my personal opinion, it loses quite a bit of steam after that. That’s not to say this isn’t a must watch. It’s on Netflix, it’s probably better than half the bullshit you have saved in your queue, and Sandy Bullock brings THE NOISE. She’s incredible in this. The nonlinear storyline kind of diminishes some of the potential surprises in the movie, and bouncing back and forth between timelines ends up telegraphing the ending quite a bit.

https://twitter.com/tyschmit/status/1079615371777400832

I have a feeling quite a few people will share this sentiment. Again, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t watch it. You probably should, it’s well worth the two hours, again there’s a lot of bullshit out there. The best thing about Bird Box has undoubtedly been the influx of memes it has created. Everyone knows I love my memes. Big time meme guy. And I will be forever thankful to Bird Box for bringing us this treasure trove of memes.

Let me know what you thought of Bird Box, and whether or not you enjoyed the way it ended, and don’t be afraid to send me your best Bird Box memes.

@tyschmit

Heartland Radio 2.0 Ep. 31 – Dark Waters

On today’s show, the guys chat about Gorman’s illustrious film career from Super Bowl commercials to major blockbusters, and he gives a few stories about his time on film sets and out in Hollywood. They also discuss a couple of the shows that they’ve been interested in on Netflix, and cover some news stories from around the globe including a Russian Santa having a fatal heart attack in front of some kids, the Brazilian version of Sweeney Todd, and doppelgangers causing wrongful convictions. Todd wants to know what the best Christmas present each of the guys ever got was, and they answer some listener questions including what each of them would choose to be the world champion of and what their championship belt would look like, and what one song they’d sing the lyrics to if they had a gun pointed at their heads. To close out the show, the guys pick a few more holiday themed Bangerz to help send you into the weekend. It’s a fun one, come and have a good time with us.

This episode features @toddmccomas, @PatMcAfeeShow, @Digz, @nickmaraldo, @tyschmit, @BostonConnr, @HeyGorman, @VivalaZito, and @evanfoxy.

Heartland Radio 2.0 Ep. 30 – Sweet Dreams

On today’s show, the guys discuss whether or not NFL players wear cups, if anyone in the room could go an entire year using email only to communicate for $100,000 tax free, and Pat chats a little bit about his new three-legged cat, Scootsie, and the contract he had his lady sign to ensure they won’t have anymore pets for the next 5 years, and everyone breaks down their weekends. The guys also discuss some of the biggest news stories sweeping the world including a police standoff with a man with a sword in Philadelphia, a man in Australia fleecing a bar ATM for over 1.6 million dollars over the course of four months, a viral video of police using stop sticks to blow out a criminals tires and potentially a couple of civilians’ as well, and a man who was sent to the hospital after smelling his socks each night after taking them off and getting a fungal infection. Todd also wants to know what position each guy in the room is playing if they were to attempt an Ocean’s 11 type heist, and who they’re going after. They also play some fact or fiction, answer some listener questions including which TV show group of friends they would like to be apart of, and what one rule they could change in any of the major sports. They close out the show by chatting a little bit about their dreams and dive into their phones to read a couple of their vitamin thoughts. It’s a fun one, come and have a good time with us.

This episode features @toddmccomas, @PatMcAfeeShow, @Digz, @nickmaraldo, @tyschmit, @BostonConnr, @BroBroBroBets, @VivalaZito, and @evanfoxy, and ends with the song “Beer Run,” by Todd Snider.

ICYMI: Chicago Blackhawks Mascot Absolutely Bodied A Fan Over The Weekend

https://twitter.com/Suntimes/status/1074108899580669952
https://giphy.com/gifs/fg9c6gu2NwyWs

Although the video above doesn’t show it, Tommy Hawk was the victim here. Allegedly, some punk picked a fight with him during the Blackhawks 4-3 overtime loss to Winnipeg in the Mad House on Madison on Saturday. The Chicago Sun-Times reported the following, “The alleged attacker was described as a white man between 18 and 20, about 5-foot-5 and 160 pounds. No one was in custody as of Saturday night.” 

I don’t think an arrest, or jail time, or anything else like that is necessary. This kid got ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BODIED by Tommy Hawk. If you get picked up and slammed into the concourse and then eat five or six punches and get put into a subsequent guillotine by a mascot after you start throwing a couple jabs his way, that’s social suicide. Every person that this kid knows saw him get his ass beat by Tommy Hawk. This video went viral quick and was one of ESPN’s top trending stories over the weekend. And if there’s any justice in this world, this kid will be getting shit shoveled in his mouth for the rest of the school year, and potentially the next 5-10 years. You never go after a mascot. It’s low hanging fruit. Granted, if you’re not one of the plants who gets popcorn or an XL soda spilled on them, and a mascot tries to get cute and zones in on you, then you have the greenlight. But if you blindside a mascot on the concourse while he’s trying to go around and take pictures with little kids and hand out a bunch of high-fives, you’re a real piece of shit.

https://giphy.com/gifs/will-ferrell-anchorman-fuck-you-2IsUUBEO7q704

And boy oh boy did this kid regret it. If you’re going to pick a fight with a mascot, there should be a couple of things you check off your list before you do so:

1. Are you a 5’5″ 160 lb. pipsqueak who has a very good chance of being embarrassed and thrown through the concrete?

2. Are there hundreds of people around who would be able to film you getting your ass beat by said mascot and then have the ability to send it our via Twitter or Instagram to spread to the masses?

3. Are you sure underneath that fuzzy suit there isn’t an absolute specimen with a black belt in judo relishing the opportunity to kick some ass and bodyslam someone straight to hell should anyone be foolish enough to throw some cheap shots at him?

https://giphy.com/gifs/bellatormma-mma-bellator-3o6nVaPrkTo9axi0iA

4. Do you have incredibly tight khaki’s on that look more like high waters and people can see 3/4’s of your pixie stix legs below the ankle of the pant? 

If you can definitively answer yes to one or more of these questions, then going after the mascot isn’t a wise choice. It’s a lose-lose situation. So you get tuned up with the boys and you end up fighting the mascot. Best case scenario you go to jail for assault and everyone thinks you’re a horses ass because you picked a fight with someone you weren’t expecting to defend themselves. Or you do what this kid did. You try to act tough, probably suck down one to two IPA’s and you get some liquid courage only to find out that you fucked with the wrong guy and that he’s filled with rage and coming for blood.

https://giphy.com/gifs/giffffr-2XflxzsPhNKtHYXpMzu

Obviously, the silver lining for this kid is that his name hasn’t been released.. yet. He’s got a day or two of obscurity before everyone in the greater Chicagoland area knows how big of a whistledick he is. Clock is ticking, pal.

Follow @tyschmit

PMS 2.0 029 – A Field Trip To The Courtroom & Incredible NFL Conversation

On today’s show, Pat takes a trip into the For The Brand courtroom as he welcomes in defensive end for the New York Jets Henry “Goose” Anderson after his hit on Bills kicker Steven Hauschka that many were calling a cheap shot. Pat gives Goose the opportunity to defend himself after this attack on The Brand, gathers all the facts and information presented, and makes a final ruling, and catches up with his former teammate in a hilarious conversation (13:05-26:58). Later, the guys join Pat to cover everything that happened this week in the NFL including Connor’s trip to Miami to watch the Miami Miracle live in person, Digs and Nick potentially throwing in the towel on the Steelers’ season after their heartbreaking loss at Oakland, Baker Mayfield continuing to shine, they chat about the Bears vs. Rams Sunday Night Football game, Patrick Mahomes throwing no look passes, Pat breaks down how a fake punt would work when he played for the Colts, and Pat also covers his weekend going back and forth between Pittsburgh and New York. It’s a fun one. Come and laugh with us, cheers.

Roger, The Yoked, Kickboxing Kangaroo Has Passed Away

https://twitter.com/newscomauHQ/status/1071922620830932992

This one is tough to swallow. Roger, the absolutely jacked kickboxing kangaroo, has passed away at the age of 12. It’s a day of mourning not just in Australia, but the entire world. This sweet, sweet marsupial wanted nothing more than to eat some grass, and kick some wholesale ass, and it’s tragic that he will no longer be able to do so.

What an absolute unit. How many animals can crumple up a metal bin just to flex on anyone trying to give them some guff? I can’t even imagine how many people at this kangaroo sanctuary got the absolute shit smacked out of them for trying to mouth off to Roger. “Hey pal, it’s bedtime,” oh okay, here’s a nice stiff right jab to chew on. “Hey Roger, these folks want to oogle at you and feed you some pellets.” Oh, they do? How about I feed you a nice full bodied roundhouse to the mouth instead.

These kangaroos above are just your run-of-the-mill kickboxing kangaroos. Can you imagine how badly either one of these fellas would get bodied by Roger? He’s the prototypical alpha male. It’s like imagining Brock Lesnar fighting Rey Mysterio. I was always under the impression that kangaroos were very docile creatures, but I don’t have any shame in admitting that Roger would’ve ragdolled my ass. He’d probably bounce my head off the ground a couple of times and then teabag my lifeless corpse for good measure. It’s not just me either, I don’t think anyone wants smoke if Rog comes strolling in with his 22’s glistening in the sun. And if anyone did find themselves in a situation that called for physicality, I can assure you they spent the next several hours picking up their chiclets out of the dirt.

Unfortunately, we’ll never get to see any more live footage of Rog. He’s gone to the great beyond. Maybe even better off, because some creatures are too magical to be confined to some wildlife preserve for their entire lives. I know this hurts, and it’s going to for awhile now. But I think we should all smile because he was here, not cry because he’s gone. I love you, Roger, and I’ll miss you.

Follow @tyschmit

4 People Turn Into Bus

Local security in Vladivostok, Russia, caught four people disguised as a bus in an attempt to cross the city’s Zolotoy Bridge, which is closed to pedestrians.

https://twitter.com/snob_project/status/1062291572006547456
https://giphy.com/gifs/wwe-wrestling-i4jTE9ZNFQQ1D7RbxK

These men are pioneers, forward thinkers, trail blazers, HERO’s. I can’t believe these guys took the time to get all the way on the highway with this Flintstone’s bus. There’s only one country grand enough for something of this stature and yes, it’s Russia. This is the type of effort you see out of people trying to go through the drive through without a car. You can’t knock the insane effort out of these four daredevil’s.

https://giphy.com/gifs/reaction-childrens-miracle-network-hospitals-cmn-1fm9a68tbJPVGmeidp

I wish I could give these guys a thumbs up in real life but this gif will have to do. I wonder where the guy who had to go and get them came from. He didn’t have a motorized vehicle (cause the bus on wheels is a vehicle) so I wonder if he was coming back from trying the same thing. ‘Boys, they won’t let us go, let’s go to the bar and drink vodka.’ I wrote and read that with a Russian accent so if you didn’t go back and it’ll sound better. I hope these guys got to wherever their magic school bus was meant to take them. Cheers to these guys. 

@BostonConnr

Alabama Would Beat The Bills

I know.. I know. I used to feel the exact same way you probably do. I used to scoff at people that would say a college team could beat a pro team. I’d laugh in their face. Because I know that the NFL is an all star game, for about 10 different age groups. An actual collection of the greatest football players the earth has seen. I know that in college football, even in the SEC there are guys who won’t make it to the NFL. And I know that Tua hasn’t faced 30 year olds who are looking to feed their families yet… BUT..

I believe that this Alabama team is different. The differentiating factor is the QB. By far. For as far back as I could remember the Alabama teams were winning because they would run all over teams. The offensive lines and running backs would just barrel folks. Most of the time winning IN SPITE of their quarterback. The QB’s, although probably talented, were 1000% system QBs. What I used to say to someone who thought Alabama could beat an NFL team was that “D Linemen in the NFL would be able to handle the O Linemen and running back so the offense wouldn’t work”..

Tua changes ALL OF THIS.. he can make every throw. He leads his receivers better than half the NFL. He can put the ball anywhere he wants.. which is what he’d have to do because “That’s open in the NFL” means a few inches here and there.

https://twitter.com/cbssports/status/1053738745843728384?s=21

This Alabama team is the perfect recipe of a team that could beat a TERRIBLE NFL team. Athletic defense. Great QB. And playmakers.

Sooo.. Here’s the lock of the century. If ESPN can figure out a way to set up an exhibition between Tua’s Alabama and The Bills…

EMPTY THE BANK ACCOUNT… AND HAMMER THE TIDE +28.5

__________________________________________

Since writing this blog, I’ve received quite a few texts..

Here’s one from AQ Shipley

“Talent wise. I would agree that this team has a lot of future NFL PLAYERS. The SEC doesnt have a Jerry Hughes who is a proven pass rusher on one side and Lorenzo Alexander, one of the highest graded edge guys in the league. Both of these players have had success amongst the worlds best Offensive tackles. I always say what makes you better from year to year is your mind. Being able to process the worlds fastest sport in a split second is what allows players to play past the “not for long” mantra that many describe an NFL career as. Any defense in the NFL can process information so much faster than any college defense regardless of what conference they play in. Not to mention, Tua, has never seen as complex a defense as even the most watered down defenses in the NFL. He has never seen coverage disguises or blitz disguises quite like you see at the NFL level. These safeties do such a good job holding there bluffs until the last possible second and still have enough skill and smarts to get back into position to be where they need to be. I also must add, Sean Mcdermott is one of the smartest defensive minds in the NFL. So to think that its a lock that Alabama would beat an NFL team is a bit much. I think if you take talent alone based on projected NFL players as well as dominant record vs everyone in college, I can see why people would argue your point about being able to beat an NFL team who is having little success. But, lets pump the brakes a little and for a second take into account all of the variables. Also, lets not discredit or take away the fact that there is a reason why the NFL is the highest level, its the best of the best. Yes, Alabama is the best team in college but lets also not forget that around 50 percent of the roster will not be on an NFL roster after Alabama. NFL rosters which include yes that team youre talking about…the BUFFALO BILLS.”

So he doesn’t agree with me… what would he know anyways. 10 year NFL Center. He didn’t mention “RPO” once.

And here’s another from former teammate, NFL Corner/Safety/3rd String Holder- Darius Butler

He told me I was wrong.. I simply asked why, then got this response 👀

5 years ago this wouldn’t even be a conversation worth entertaining IMO. Today its at least worth a conversation. I lied, its not! I literally completely changed my mind about it in the middle of writing this. I first took into account the amount of hours these college guys have dedicated to their craft over lets say the 5 yrs before arriving at Bama. In 2000 I wasn’t interested in working with a trainer to improve my skillset over the offseason before my freshman yr in HS. Nowadays these kids have trainers at age 13! Fast Fwd that kid 8yrs and now you’re a rookie WR in the NFL you have 5 extra yrs of personalized training under your belt (which is an eternity when working with a world class athlete.) I witnessed Erik Swoope transform from a College Basketball forward to a legit TE over the course of 3-4 yrs with no College FB experience. After factoring that in I went to the QB position (which is arguably the toughest position to play in sports) and the recent surge of 1st and 2nd yr QBs that are dominating almost immediately. Which of course has in part to do with Coaches on the Pro level being more flexible and adding some of the College-style plays into mix i.e. Andy Reid/Bill Obrien (necessary RPO mention)

Even with these factors along w/ a few others, the gap between the best college team and the worst pro team is still too significant. Let’s try and break it down with an excercise. Grab a sheet of paper…draw a line down the middle. Write on each side the top 5 players on each team. On the Bill’s side you have guys who have not only played but dominated for extended periods in their careers against the very best players this earth has to offer. On the Bama side lets say you have 5 first rounders who may or may not pan out on the next level. Now slide down that roster to the 15-20th best players on each roster. I think pretty quickly you realize what I did without going any further.

IT’S NOT A CONVERSATION!

So.. That was quite a ride there. I did his little paper exercise. It’s not great for my side of things here… BUT.. Darius isn’t even accounting confidence. The Bills just lost to the Bears by A LOT.. and Alabama just beat LSU by 29 in a shutout rout in the Bayou..

Starting to think I could be wrong here.. Weird feeling. Not sure I’ve ever had it.