Heartland Radio 2.0 Ep. 31 – Dark Waters

On today’s show, the guys chat about Gorman’s illustrious film career from Super Bowl commercials to major blockbusters, and he gives a few stories about his time on film sets and out in Hollywood. They also discuss a couple of the shows that they’ve been interested in on Netflix, and cover some news stories from around the globe including a Russian Santa having a fatal heart attack in front of some kids, the Brazilian version of Sweeney Todd, and doppelgangers causing wrongful convictions. Todd wants to know what the best Christmas present each of the guys ever got was, and they answer some listener questions including what each of them would choose to be the world champion of and what their championship belt would look like, and what one song they’d sing the lyrics to if they had a gun pointed at their heads. To close out the show, the guys pick a few more holiday themed Bangerz to help send you into the weekend. It’s a fun one, come and have a good time with us.

This episode features @toddmccomas, @PatMcAfeeShow, @Digz, @nickmaraldo, @tyschmit, @BostonConnr, @HeyGorman, @VivalaZito, and @evanfoxy.

The Titanic Was Found On Accident! Well, Sort Of.

CNN.com – Robert Ballard, who discovered the Titanic, said that the expedition was part of a secret US military mission to recover two sunken nuclear submarines on the bottom of the ocean.”They did not want the world to know that, so I had to have a cover story,” Ballard said.

https://giphy.com/gifs/mission-impossible-1996-rewatch-Ty6dsAaERhyWA

Ballard was in the process of seeking funding for an exhibition to find the Titanic in 1985.  The US Government caught wind of this and was like, “Hey man.  Here’s where we’re at right now.  We kind of lost a couple submarines in the Atlantic Ocean a while back that have nuclear weapons on them…and that’s kind of a big deal here in the office.  So, what if we pay you to find those for us, but we tell the world that you’re being paid to find the Titanic?  Then if you find our subs soon enough and you have some extra time after, you can go look for the Titanic or whatever.”

This was a win for everyone because we weren’t exactly on good terms with Russia in 1985 so we couldn’t have them finding out we had nukes out there on the ocean floor.  And Ballard gets a chance to find the Titanic, which would make him RICH AS FUCK!

https://giphy.com/gifs/chappelles-show-sbHeENxBcatck

The government knew where the subs were so finding them would be easy, except he had to do it without the Russians following him.  Evidently, this Ballard dude was a G because he located the subs and accomplished his mission with 12 days to spare.  So, then he went out and found the Titanic, a ship that had been lost at sea since 1912, in just 12 days!  It was 12,000 feet deep at the bottom of the North Atlantic, which I’m guessing made it a real bitch to find.  But Ballard did it!  After all this time, we had the Titanic and everything in it!  The money, the cars, the jewelry, the ledgers, and yes…we finally had the most sought after historical treasure of all time.  We had Jack’s naked drawing of Rose! 

https://giphy.com/gifs/leonardo-dicaprio-titanic-james-cameron-6PJKaQkcu7sTm

This made everyone happy.  Except for Rose.  This was obviously pre-internet so can you imagine how Rose felt?  She had one little moment of indiscretion where she got caught up in the moment and let a dude draw a naked pic of her and then gets lucky enough that it gets buried 12,000 feet at the bottom of the ocean.  She didn’t have a worry in the world!  No way anyone will ever find it now, right?  Ha!  Wrong!

I honestly think that’s why Rose didn’t let Jack on the door with her.  He was the only person the world that knew her dirty little secret.  “Sure, the drawing is going down with the ship but what if this guy gets rescued and starts running his mouth to everybody about what a whore I am?”  That information could ruin a lady!  Especially in 1912! 

Good for Robert Ballard.  Not only did he help answer the questions we had about the sinking of the Titanic, he also helped reinforce the fact that no secret is safe.  No matter how safely you think that secret is tucked away, it can always resurface.  Oh, and he also kept the Russians from getting our nukes.

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Russia’s Robots Are So Futuristic They’re Humans

https://twitter.com/Soviet_flag/status/1072750313692631040

Russia is doing some shit and I know it seems like this is just Russia making people think they have no robots, but by doing this it solidifies one things: Russia has some crazy robots in their arsenal. For those of you who can’t read Russian, the above caption says “Russian Robot does Macarena and whole crowd goes wild. This Robot will destroy an entire civilization in 16 days.” My Russian is a little shaky but I’m pretty sure that’s what it says and when I say I’m pretty sure, you know I don’t know shit about that gibberish. If I was in that Russian room of terror I would of been shaking with fear of this robot sending out five mini missiles like Tony Stark. One second he’s doing the Macarena, the next, he’s charging up his hand cannons ready to blow anything out of the water. 

https://giphy.com/gifs/iron-man-dfJ0ns8LBXNni

However, in a shocking turn of events, this robot isn’t a robot at all and the population of Russia has never played a game of chess in their lives. Just checkers and more checkers over there. 

https://twitter.com/Newsweek/status/1072952983262912512

Yeah, that’s right, Russia is just dressing people up like robots and acting like they have some sort of godly technology. I have to say, I’m impressed with their diligence in attempting to hide the fact their robots are just humans. With that being said, the photo of the guy getting ready to act like a robot is very staged. Russia has to be throwing this out there, setting their whole country up to look like dingbats only to reveal they have a fleet of hulk sized Iron Men ready to rip the barrels off guns and flip tanks. At this point in the robot saga, I’m almost over the inevitability of us getting dominated by these metal creatures. Best case scenario is that the robots are like this and they just rip us apart instead of having big computer brains and making us their slaves as they try to contact another computer in a far off galaxy. Wow, huge turn of events in my brain and now robots are contacting aliens to have them come here and save them from humans. Definitely could see robots doing this and someone should notify Elon Musk to see if any of his distant brothers on Mars have heard anything in the radio waves. Going forward, if you see a “robot” try and pull of his head, might be a human under there. 

https://giphy.com/gifs/old-play-NWlBEcDW5evFS

Twitter: @BostonConnr

Instagram: @BostonConnr

4 People Turn Into Bus

Local security in Vladivostok, Russia, caught four people disguised as a bus in an attempt to cross the city’s Zolotoy Bridge, which is closed to pedestrians.

https://twitter.com/snob_project/status/1062291572006547456
https://giphy.com/gifs/wwe-wrestling-i4jTE9ZNFQQ1D7RbxK

These men are pioneers, forward thinkers, trail blazers, HERO’s. I can’t believe these guys took the time to get all the way on the highway with this Flintstone’s bus. There’s only one country grand enough for something of this stature and yes, it’s Russia. This is the type of effort you see out of people trying to go through the drive through without a car. You can’t knock the insane effort out of these four daredevil’s.

https://giphy.com/gifs/reaction-childrens-miracle-network-hospitals-cmn-1fm9a68tbJPVGmeidp

I wish I could give these guys a thumbs up in real life but this gif will have to do. I wonder where the guy who had to go and get them came from. He didn’t have a motorized vehicle (cause the bus on wheels is a vehicle) so I wonder if he was coming back from trying the same thing. ‘Boys, they won’t let us go, let’s go to the bar and drink vodka.’ I wrote and read that with a Russian accent so if you didn’t go back and it’ll sound better. I hope these guys got to wherever their magic school bus was meant to take them. Cheers to these guys. 

@BostonConnr

No Idea How This Isn’t The Most Popular Sport In The World

https://twitter.com/HeartlandRadio/status/1058790449484386305

Are you kidding me? I’d pay $100 every weekend to watch this on Pay-Per-View. This is old school game of thrones/Braveheart/Gladiator/300 type battles mixed with modern day MMA. Everyone charging in having no idea what’s going to happen. 

https://giphy.com/gifs/hM6RKCmOIhzRC

Of course this is banned in the United States so we have to rely on our friends in Eastern Europe to bring this and all of its gloriousness to the world. I’m honestly surprised they haven’t somehow found a way to involve bears or tigers into the ring. Obviously they aren’t on the marketing level of say a Jackie Moon or Commodus but I assume they can get there.

https://giphy.com/gifs/tiger-close-call-gladiator-3z6CM4WpQmCuQ/links

Things get very interesting when one team starts losing fighters and you then have 2 on 1 or 3 on 1 situations. These are trained fighters pounding on a human in the fetal position all at once while he tries not to die. I mean the one guy is being put in an arm bar by one guy while another pummels his face. Not some Chuck Norris Jackie Chan bullshit where the henchmen come at the hero one at a time. Shit always drove me crazy. If all 13 guys attack him at once Chuck Norris is going to die. 

Can you imagine this as a legit organization with financial backing behind it? How awesome would it be to watch Team McGregor vs Team Khabib rather than just McGregor vs Khabib or even Team New York vs Team Boston, Philly vs Pittsburgh, and so on and so forth. I’ll structure this fighting league just like the major sports leagues. Conferences, divisions, regular season, playoffs. It’s going to be glorious. Will listen to serious investment inquiries. 

I also know that this video is old and I do not care. It doesn’t matter.

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