Pat McAfee For Monday Night Football A Blog

https://twitter.com/PatMcAfeeShow/status/1102548693016813568

Good Monday morning ESPN, the internet is talking and its getting pretty loud. The time has come to think outside the box, we all watched the train wreck that was Jason Witten last year and I’m pretty sure that was a safe pick for you. Now you have the option to fix last years mistake, you have the chance to hire someone with something different than what we’ve seen before on Monday nights. Please DO NOT compare this to the Dennis Miller hire that didn’t work out. This is way different and way better.

https://twitter.com/Lions/status/1102626427252469760

The world watched when he turned an absolute blowout meaningless game in Green Bay into a trend on Twitter. That was only his second game announcing also and his first NFL one. People are going to watch Monday Night Football no matter what, so why not take a shot and lets have some fun with it. Theres no reason not to, he fits the criteria you always say your looking for. He played in the league for eight seasons and had a lot of fun doing it on the field. You can keep trying with another safe pick similar to Jason Witten but do you really want to get trolled every Monday Night again.

https://twitter.com/Digz/status/1102608794226442240

Come one ESPN think outside of the box for once, take a shot on Pat McAfee in the booth on Monday nights. He’s an absolute beast on the internet and theres no reason to think he won’t be the exact same on Monday Night Football. Lets try something new, lets mix things up, lets get excited and lets have some fun and some laughs on Monday Night Football for a change. Hope y’all had a good weekend and lets hammer the internet on this beautiful Monday. #McAfeeForMNF #DoTheRightThingESPN

https://twitter.com/HeartlandRadio/status/1102637188976648193

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I’m Winning The Weight Loss Challenge

I’m clearly the underdog in this thing.  If you check the odds on MyBookie.ag they had me at +430 this morning.  But here’s the deal.  I didn’t actually expect to weigh-in at 219.8 to kick this thing off.  When I woke up that day I weighed in at 213.  I put on 6.8 pounds in 4 hours!  That was huge!  I almost pissed and shit myself but it was worth it.

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I managed to choke down 4 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and drink a third of a gallon of milk and 6 bottles of water.  Before trying to put weight on for the initial weigh-in I walked around at 205, which is 10 or 15 pounds heavier than I should be.  So, getting back to 205 is happening very quickly.  That’s 15 pounds of weight loss without even trying.

Zito, who was by far the heaviest at weigh-ins because he’s just an obese monster, has made some bold claims as far as how much weight he thinks he’ll lose.  I’m here to tell you that there’s no way he loses more than 40 pounds.  No fucking way!  So, since the challenge is based on percentage of weight lost by each competitor, if he loses 40 pounds I have to get down to 186 pounds (lose 33.8 pounds) to edge him out.  Essentially, I only have to lose 19 pounds during this whole thing because I came in carrying 14.8 pounds of temporary weight.  No problem!

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19 pounds isn’t bad at all.  The worst part about it is I pretty much can only eat things that don’t have taste.  I eat like a Koala bear.  Everything taste like a leaf.  So, I’ve been choosing my food by texture.  Cucumber slices have crunch so it at least it somewhat sounds like eating potato chips.  But I can have some meat you say.  Yeah, meat without salt or seasoning!  Turns out, meat in and of itself…not much flavor!

Thankfully, Fuegobox introduced us to a line of hot sauces that are all 5 calories per serving or less.  And their hot sauce focuses way more on flavor than other hot sauce companies!  I’m used to living on mayo, ranch dressing and BBQ sauce but those all have way too many calories so Fuegobox is saving my life right now!  I got flavor!

Basically, I’m telling you to bet the dog on this thing.  I have a strong strategy and so far it’s working great.  Also, let’s not forget that if it comes down to the last week and I have to get nasty and lose more than I’m expecting, I was a wrestler.  Been there, done that!  I know these guys pretty well and rest assure…I got more grit than all of them!  Plus, as far as I’m concerned, your money is my money.  I’m not letting you lose it.

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Click Fuegobox Deal to get 10% off the sauces I’m using during this challenge!  They’re incredible!

Go to MyBookie.ag and enter the promo code HEARTLAND to get a 50% bonus on your first deposit up to $1000 so you can bet on the challenge!

Why DIGS is my horse for round 2

https://twitter.com/GumpSox10/status/1070387683191476226

I could beat around the bush and tell you multiple different reasons on why Digs is going to take round two of this weight loss challenge. I won’t do that though, there is absolutely only one reason why, MONEY. The first round there was nothing on the line but pride and he still almost took it, barely losing to Zito. This time around there’s 9,999 dollars on the line and for a man who loves to gamble and throw away his money, I can’t see my man Digs leaving that cash out there for somebody else to win.

https://twitter.com/corygfitness/status/1070778563736014856

He also has this absolute beast Cory Gregory designing his workouts and supplements for him. I know, i know Digs has a lot of quit in him, but not this time. I will be eating clean and grinding it out all month alongside him, well not really I’ll be in Canada but you get it.

https://twitter.com/betmybookie/status/1078857060169801731
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It’s not going to be easy, it’s going to be an absolute battle all January between these four men. Im very excited for this weight loss challenge and I’m even more excited to see my horse Digs pull this thing out at the end of it. Go against the favourite Zito, everyone knows how hard it is to beat the same man twice. Digs at +300 is an absolute steal, hope you all had a great new years and here’s to a very fit and healthy January Cheers.

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Kanye Goes Wild On Twitter

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/1073319978579955712


It all started with this tweet yesterday from Kanye. Im guessing this is in reference to a track that Drake used Kanye’s instrumental on. He went onto have 126 tweets yesterday about him and Drake. Which were all highly entertaining to say the least.

Some of his tweets sounded true and real but a lot of them sounded completely off the wall. These two have been having a back and forth for quite some time now and it looks like its finally come to a head. There isn’t a blog long enough to go through all of them but ill post the ones i found the most intriguing.

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/1073410452250681344
https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/1073412438928842752
https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/1073455308717068289

The more i go through these tweets he sounds like he’s out of his damn mind. Im not going to pick a side i like both these guys, Drake might have more of a head on his shoulders or at least look like it after this meltdown, but who am i to judge. Drake has yet to respond to any of this except for laughing emojis on his Instgram story. My guess is Kanye will delete his twitter again, id be surprised if these tweets stay up through the weekend to be honest. No matter what comes from this i know it made my Thursday and it was a beautiful way to send us into the weekend.

Follow along @GumpSox10

WHAT’S NEW IN THE VIDEO GAME WORLD BESIDES ME DUNKING ON THE TWITCH STREAM.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not made for the blogging world

Hello all.. so before I was appointed as Director of Morale of the Heartland Office.

https://gph.is/1E9LZEA

I was a big video games enthusiast and helped start The Pat McAfee Show Twitch Stream. During the process Connor and I learned its not easy to grow a channel but if you put in work you can grow a pretty sweet community.

https://gph.is/14VJHdm

So basically I wanted to start a weekly video game update. Sometimes it’ll be a video game highlight or even maybe me dunking on stream.

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/347708581

But todays big updates comes from Fortnite and Call of Duty Blackout. The only way a Battle Royale game stays relevant now in days is constant changes or “New Seasons”. Sometimes people hate it and some love the new changes.

Fortnite Update

Alright so Fortnite Season 7… we’ve seen many changes and its by far the most drastic change yet. Alright maybe not the most drastic but aside from the snowy edition side of the map thats all.

https://fsmedia.imgix.net/2a/7a/6c/40/cf6b/4500/b99a/fbbb7f9d7d26/fortnite-season-7-map-changes-image.jpeg?rect=0%2C599%2C1200%2C601&dpr=2&auto=format%2Ccompress&w=650

Epic has also added old school fighter planes and basically the Halo Sword. Let me start with the fighter plane first…

I wish I can say I’m a fan but every time I’ve played I’m always on the receiving end of the planes instead of the shitting on people with them. My opinion can change on this but besides getting sweet snipes and knocking pilots out of the plane…I get it..its fun. Let’s get to the Halo Sword…

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/megablokshalowars/images/f/f0/Sword_ingame.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110507053516

I haven’t personally played with the sword yet but I’ve seen some footage of it and it seems like a mash up of the Thanos gameplay with a King Arthur feel to it and also the Halo sword. 

https://clips.twitch.tv/AttractiveMuddyMosquitoDoubleRainbow

They added these weird zip-lines all over the map and at first I didn’t think I’d like it but…they’ve grown on me. It’s good for getting out of a pickle and could be used for very strategic kills. You also don’t have to waste mats going up mountains. 

Alright I was going to add a Blackout update portion. Unfortunately the update hasn’t came to xbox yet.. till next week I’ll make sure to type one up next week. Thank you so much

From the Desk of Director of Morale
Zito

IN THE TRENCHES W/ ZEETS

Disclaimer: I’m not made for the blogging world. 

A lot of big plays out of the trenches this week but I know you guys will think my award is a little biased but here it is. 

Bradley Sowell

https://twitter.com/ChicagoBears/status/1071969244143710208

Alright so I think the world is finally realizing that Coach Naggy is a master play caller.

https://gph.is/KA05a1

How about the play action to the freezer and passing it dahn to our award winner of the week. Sunday night when this play happened I scowled the internet trying to find a clip from the movie Replacements, when John Madden is saying what’s good about a Big Boy Touchdown.

https://gph.is/1eRlmt9

For some reason the only clips they have online are shitty recording from cell phones…but below is where I would embed that video but I’m not the guy to give you a shitty video. So when you get home tonight if you could order The Replacements on demand and watch it…if you don’t want to watch the whole thing just skip to an hour thirty in and you see it then. If you don’t totally understandable.

So thank you so much to Bradley Sowell for not dropping the ball and making the play. Always a good day In The Trenches when we get a touchdown. Also make sure to tweet over any “In The Trenches highlights:…we all know Linemen need more recognition so lets give it to em. 

From the Desk of The Director of Morale
Zito

Colts Lose To The Worst Then Beat The Best

Last week the Colts got shut out against the Jaguars, the worst team in their division and then came back this week and beat the Texans who were arguably the best team in the division.  It feels like a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation.

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It’s a real roller coaster ride but, unfortunately, I think it’s just part of the process.  The team is starting to gel and come into its own but we’re young and this system is new so there are bound to being growing pains.  The Colts have never been known for their defense but it appears that has finally changed.

The defense is doing their job.  They’re keeping us in games which is crucial as Luck and the offense work to become more consistent.  They’ve definitely shown they can be explosive and move the chains but they’ve also shown that they can shit the bed for long stretches which is frustrating.

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The good news is it’s only frustrating because we know what our potential is.  We are a good football team and we have the potential to be a great football team.  We wouldn’t have been frustrated if we were shut out by the Jaguars last year.  We would’ve calmly taken a sip of our beers and let out a collective sigh, followed by a “Yeah, we suck.”  It sounds weird to say, but it actually feels good to have the right to be pissed off when we have a bad game.

I couldn’t be more happy that the Colts are in the Wild Card conversation and I couldn’t be more excited to see how we compete for it.  I’m all in on GM Chris Ballard and Head Coach Frank Reich.  What they’ve been able to accomplish with this team in such a short period of time is incredible.  I’m not second-guessing shit this off-season.  If they make a move to get Le’Veon Bell…awesome.  If they don’t make a move to get Le’Veon Bell…still awesome.  These guys came here with a vision and it’s working so I’m keeping my stupid mouth shut.  It’s a good time to be a Colts fan. 

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The Heartland Office List Of The Greatest Music Videos Ever Made.

Disclaimer: I’m not made for the blogging world. 

I sit here reminiscing the days when you can turn on the tv and watch an actual entertaining music video. So I made it my mission to go around the office and find everyones favorite music video and also a couple of my own…disclaimer I will not be listing any of these videos in particular order and if you any make sure to Tweet them to me.

Eminem was always known for his theatrical side..every video he dropped back in the day were always a guaranteed banger of a video. Blink 182 what a time to be alive when you were able to play this on tv. I could have gone all day but I wanted to make sure to get through the whole office so first up…

PAT

The boss man himself has excessive (good word I know) knowledge of music videos, he was all over the place naming them off but we ended up settling on these. 

DIGS

When I told digs about the blog idea…he yelled out two music videos right away… as if he’s been waiting his whole life for someone to ask him his favorite music videos.

I’ll tell you I can’t talk shit about any of these picks. Mad RESPECT for how fast he got these to me. I remember back in the day, when ever a Christina music video came on tv you had to waist band it.

NICK

I knew asking the resident DJ, I was going to get some good ones… Nick literally gave me 20 music videos and I had to strong arm him down to two of em.

Frank from the clouds picking some Bone Thugs and Lil Dicky is one of the reason music video are still a thing now a days.

TODD

Alright Uncle Todd was a wild card for this…He sent in the most diverse selection of all time.


He had a lot of classics to send in but he chose a Will Smith song just to fuck with Nick.

TY


Ty is the resident movie buff make sense he would choose a Ja Rule Music video that was basically a movie. I’m going to be honest with you I’ve never seen the Caliornication music video but holy shit that’s an intense video…it was basically watching the first generation of Grand Theft Auto being played.

CONNOR

Boston Connor always bring the noise figuratively and literally..Duke Dumont and Red Hot Chili Pepper always has amazing music videos.

EVAN

For Evan being a millennial…I’m proud of his picks he could have went with  something basic but he thought outside of the box. Way to go Evan The Pub is in good hands also don’t forget to purchase yourself a shirt and become a member. 

GATOR

Gator picking White Stripes maybe the hottest pick of the day and then he hit me with this I Feel Better song..I had to stop writing this blog and had to approach him and ask him why the hell he sent me this and quote on quote “I thought it was perfectly weird for your blog” or something like that. 

BLOCK DAD (Tim) and JAY McAFEE

Since the Twitch Stream has a new partner up stairs in the office had to throw their music videos in the mix.

Tim McAfee

Jay McAfee

Honorable Mentions

Alright this has to be my longest blog ever to date even though its a maximum of 100 words. I totally understand I missed a lot of great ones… If you would like to send yours in make sure to tweet them over to me. 

From The Desk Of Director Of Morale
Zito

Todd Gurley, Alvin Kamara, and Troy Polamalu are bullies

Catchy headline.. that’s step 1 to this blog game I’ve been learning.

Mr Gurley and Kamara didn’t bully anybody.. They just let somebody know that they shouldn’t have stumbled and fell like Tom Brady.

Tom’s the 🐐, but this was tough for the TB12 Brand

Anyways.. back to the bullies.

They couldn’t help it but let Zeek know that this was supposed to be a highlight that lives on the internet and on our TVs FOREVER.. NFL’s greatest plays type of stuff.. it was supposed to be a highlight that ends with a tudder. A celebration. All of that good stuff..

Wild bullying in the comments section.

I often wonder how it’d feel to be that athletic.. it’s a real shame that I’ll never know what it feels like to hurdle a fully sized human…

or score a touchdown in the NFL.

Thanks Troy Polamalu.

Troy stole all of my dreams. Like the Grinch stole Christmas. Picked up all of my touchdown dreams, stuffed them in his sack, and walked away.

Alabama Would Beat The Bills

I know.. I know. I used to feel the exact same way you probably do. I used to scoff at people that would say a college team could beat a pro team. I’d laugh in their face. Because I know that the NFL is an all star game, for about 10 different age groups. An actual collection of the greatest football players the earth has seen. I know that in college football, even in the SEC there are guys who won’t make it to the NFL. And I know that Tua hasn’t faced 30 year olds who are looking to feed their families yet… BUT..

I believe that this Alabama team is different. The differentiating factor is the QB. By far. For as far back as I could remember the Alabama teams were winning because they would run all over teams. The offensive lines and running backs would just barrel folks. Most of the time winning IN SPITE of their quarterback. The QB’s, although probably talented, were 1000% system QBs. What I used to say to someone who thought Alabama could beat an NFL team was that “D Linemen in the NFL would be able to handle the O Linemen and running back so the offense wouldn’t work”..

Tua changes ALL OF THIS.. he can make every throw. He leads his receivers better than half the NFL. He can put the ball anywhere he wants.. which is what he’d have to do because “That’s open in the NFL” means a few inches here and there.

https://twitter.com/cbssports/status/1053738745843728384?s=21

This Alabama team is the perfect recipe of a team that could beat a TERRIBLE NFL team. Athletic defense. Great QB. And playmakers.

Sooo.. Here’s the lock of the century. If ESPN can figure out a way to set up an exhibition between Tua’s Alabama and The Bills…

EMPTY THE BANK ACCOUNT… AND HAMMER THE TIDE +28.5

__________________________________________

Since writing this blog, I’ve received quite a few texts..

Here’s one from AQ Shipley

“Talent wise. I would agree that this team has a lot of future NFL PLAYERS. The SEC doesnt have a Jerry Hughes who is a proven pass rusher on one side and Lorenzo Alexander, one of the highest graded edge guys in the league. Both of these players have had success amongst the worlds best Offensive tackles. I always say what makes you better from year to year is your mind. Being able to process the worlds fastest sport in a split second is what allows players to play past the “not for long” mantra that many describe an NFL career as. Any defense in the NFL can process information so much faster than any college defense regardless of what conference they play in. Not to mention, Tua, has never seen as complex a defense as even the most watered down defenses in the NFL. He has never seen coverage disguises or blitz disguises quite like you see at the NFL level. These safeties do such a good job holding there bluffs until the last possible second and still have enough skill and smarts to get back into position to be where they need to be. I also must add, Sean Mcdermott is one of the smartest defensive minds in the NFL. So to think that its a lock that Alabama would beat an NFL team is a bit much. I think if you take talent alone based on projected NFL players as well as dominant record vs everyone in college, I can see why people would argue your point about being able to beat an NFL team who is having little success. But, lets pump the brakes a little and for a second take into account all of the variables. Also, lets not discredit or take away the fact that there is a reason why the NFL is the highest level, its the best of the best. Yes, Alabama is the best team in college but lets also not forget that around 50 percent of the roster will not be on an NFL roster after Alabama. NFL rosters which include yes that team youre talking about…the BUFFALO BILLS.”

So he doesn’t agree with me… what would he know anyways. 10 year NFL Center. He didn’t mention “RPO” once.

And here’s another from former teammate, NFL Corner/Safety/3rd String Holder- Darius Butler

He told me I was wrong.. I simply asked why, then got this response 👀

5 years ago this wouldn’t even be a conversation worth entertaining IMO. Today its at least worth a conversation. I lied, its not! I literally completely changed my mind about it in the middle of writing this. I first took into account the amount of hours these college guys have dedicated to their craft over lets say the 5 yrs before arriving at Bama. In 2000 I wasn’t interested in working with a trainer to improve my skillset over the offseason before my freshman yr in HS. Nowadays these kids have trainers at age 13! Fast Fwd that kid 8yrs and now you’re a rookie WR in the NFL you have 5 extra yrs of personalized training under your belt (which is an eternity when working with a world class athlete.) I witnessed Erik Swoope transform from a College Basketball forward to a legit TE over the course of 3-4 yrs with no College FB experience. After factoring that in I went to the QB position (which is arguably the toughest position to play in sports) and the recent surge of 1st and 2nd yr QBs that are dominating almost immediately. Which of course has in part to do with Coaches on the Pro level being more flexible and adding some of the College-style plays into mix i.e. Andy Reid/Bill Obrien (necessary RPO mention)

Even with these factors along w/ a few others, the gap between the best college team and the worst pro team is still too significant. Let’s try and break it down with an excercise. Grab a sheet of paper…draw a line down the middle. Write on each side the top 5 players on each team. On the Bill’s side you have guys who have not only played but dominated for extended periods in their careers against the very best players this earth has to offer. On the Bama side lets say you have 5 first rounders who may or may not pan out on the next level. Now slide down that roster to the 15-20th best players on each roster. I think pretty quickly you realize what I did without going any further.

IT’S NOT A CONVERSATION!

So.. That was quite a ride there. I did his little paper exercise. It’s not great for my side of things here… BUT.. Darius isn’t even accounting confidence. The Bills just lost to the Bears by A LOT.. and Alabama just beat LSU by 29 in a shutout rout in the Bayou..

Starting to think I could be wrong here.. Weird feeling. Not sure I’ve ever had it.