Town in Oregon Elects an 18 Year Old Mayor – Not A Parks And Rec Joke

Let’s get this out of the way. The kids name is Ben Simons but this is not the same Ben who built Ice Town. The parallel between this case and Parks and Rec is as scary as the time traveling Simpsons man. When I first read this I thought there was a 0% chance that this could go well. However, after watching Brady Wakayama’s tweet (love the name Wakayama) I think the town of Yoncalla is in great hands. “I feel at home,” being the first thing he says is hilarious. No shit Ben, you’re 18 years old you’ve never been anywhere else. What is bending my brain is thinking about what the towns going to do when this dude ships off to Stanford or whatever school he’s going to for computer engineering. ‘Hey mom do you mind standing in for me while I’m gone? Sure honey, is it for school? No I need you to be Mayor for the next 8 months.’ This kid just put his parents into the worst possible position by forcing them to have to clean up the mess he made. That’s what most 18 year olds do but usually the mess isn’t being the Mayor. 

If I were an 18 year old mayor in my town back in Mass, here’s a few things I would do. First, no more homework for high school students. I always think back to high school and think of how much more fun it would of been if there wasn’t any homework. Essays and such must be completed within school hours so there is no room for take home work for the children of the world. Second, I would open a vitamin lounge for people who want to take their vitamins with others who want to as well, cigarettes are indeed allowed. Lastly, I would set the max age of drivers at 70 so nobody is ever going under 15 mph in my town. That’s right, I’m the Mayor so I say my town.

Was pronouncing Wakayama as Whack a Yam a – name is electric. 

Let me know what you would do if you were the Mayor of your town at 18. 


Degenerate Digs’ Saturday CFB Picks – 9/26

Im not here to just give you winners, I’m here to tell you why they are winners so that you can decide if you want to roll with the Parlay King or not.

I’ve got 5 Picks for you on this beautiful Saturday with a loaded slate. Lets get into it.

  1. & 2. Arizona St +3.5 @ USC, O/U 52

Being fully transparent I loved this game on Thursday when I put my college bets in and the line was USC -7 and the total was 54.5. I took ARIZONA ST +7 and the Under 54.5

Now here on Saturday the line has moved a full 3.5 points on the spread and 2.5 points on the total with speculation that USC will have to play with their 3rd sting QB. I still like Arizona St & the Under for that reason exactly. Arizona State’s defense is only giving up 21 PPG this year and I like their chances against a 3rd string QB. Not to mention on offense they have N’Keal Harry who can do things like this at anytime

3. Florida +7 vs Georgia, O/U 52

An SEC top 10 rivalry game at a neutral field and the spread is a full touchdown even though Florida beat LSU two games ago and Georgia lost to LSU by 20 last game.  I know you can’t bet off of just that but these rivalry games always seem to be close and 7 points is wayyyy too many to give the Gators. Not to mention that Georgia has only 2 wins against teams that have winning records, Middle Tennessee St & Mizzou, both teams being 4-3. Give me the Gators +7.

4. Miss St vs Texas A&M +1, O/U 43.5

Last week Miss St was getting their heads kicked in by LSU. Last week Texas A&M was resting on their bye week preparing for Miss St. What was Texas A&M preparing for??? It sure as hell wasn’t Mississippi State’s passing game. Miss St QB Nick Fitzgerald has thrown for 59, 69, & 98 yards the last 3 games, so basically Texas A&M can treat them as strictly a running team. Texas A&M is giving up 78 yards per game on the ground. This is a full hammer Texas A&M +1 situation.

5. Oregon -10 @ Arizona, O/U 65.5

Let’s not overthink this one. Arizona stinks, they are not good at all. Oregon is good and needs a big bounce back win.  That’s all there is to this one. Good Oregon > Bad Arizona. Lay the -10 with the Ducks.

Good Luck to Everyone. Bet at and follow those bets on the Sports Action App.  Follow my picks at

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