Russia’s Robots Are So Futuristic They’re Humans

https://twitter.com/Soviet_flag/status/1072750313692631040

Russia is doing some shit and I know it seems like this is just Russia making people think they have no robots, but by doing this it solidifies one things: Russia has some crazy robots in their arsenal. For those of you who can’t read Russian, the above caption says “Russian Robot does Macarena and whole crowd goes wild. This Robot will destroy an entire civilization in 16 days.” My Russian is a little shaky but I’m pretty sure that’s what it says and when I say I’m pretty sure, you know I don’t know shit about that gibberish. If I was in that Russian room of terror I would of been shaking with fear of this robot sending out five mini missiles like Tony Stark. One second he’s doing the Macarena, the next, he’s charging up his hand cannons ready to blow anything out of the water. 

https://giphy.com/gifs/iron-man-dfJ0ns8LBXNni

However, in a shocking turn of events, this robot isn’t a robot at all and the population of Russia has never played a game of chess in their lives. Just checkers and more checkers over there. 

https://twitter.com/Newsweek/status/1072952983262912512

Yeah, that’s right, Russia is just dressing people up like robots and acting like they have some sort of godly technology. I have to say, I’m impressed with their diligence in attempting to hide the fact their robots are just humans. With that being said, the photo of the guy getting ready to act like a robot is very staged. Russia has to be throwing this out there, setting their whole country up to look like dingbats only to reveal they have a fleet of hulk sized Iron Men ready to rip the barrels off guns and flip tanks. At this point in the robot saga, I’m almost over the inevitability of us getting dominated by these metal creatures. Best case scenario is that the robots are like this and they just rip us apart instead of having big computer brains and making us their slaves as they try to contact another computer in a far off galaxy. Wow, huge turn of events in my brain and now robots are contacting aliens to have them come here and save them from humans. Definitely could see robots doing this and someone should notify Elon Musk to see if any of his distant brothers on Mars have heard anything in the radio waves. Going forward, if you see a “robot” try and pull of his head, might be a human under there. 

https://giphy.com/gifs/old-play-NWlBEcDW5evFS

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Space X Launched 64 Satellites Into Space And Aliens Attack Tomorrow

CNN – SpaceX delivered 64 satellites into orbit in one fell swoop for a record-setting mission. This marks the 19th launch for SpaceX in 2018.

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Elon Musk is up to something and so are all the aliens that are rolling around our planet right now. A few days ago there were tremors underneath our ocean all over the word and now we launched 64 satellites into space? If you think that’s a coincidence then you are kidding yourself and you’re probably waiting for Santa to drop presents under your tree. Expect one of these satellites to pick up a image like the one above of a couple aliens circling our planet laughing about the future of the human race cause they know we’ll soon be enslaved.  

https://giphy.com/gifs/aliens-hqg-RluM0kvZXkLS0

The real worry for me is why SpaceX doesn’t let everyone know about why the hell they are doing these things. Clicking the CNN at the top of this article will show you the video, but the reason being to make “space travel easier” isn’t good for us. If anything, it makes me think that the things going on in the ocean are just aliens that are trying to leave the planet that Elon Musk promised he could get home. Moreover, they probably celebrated by swimming around the entire world and thats what those waves rumbling around the Earth are all about. I’m becoming increasingly more scared as I write this but the logic is all there and that is the real scare in this alien situation. 

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The ideal way things turn out is the one above. We are the reality show for the entire universe and they love us so much they decide not to blow us up. The worry lies with the aliens that are currently swimming around our ocean looking for something to do. Hopefully Elon is just trying to send his alien friends in the ocean back to their home planet with all these satellites but still, the ocean aliens are a dangerous breed. Let’s hope we aren’t going to be getting cuckolded by the creatures of the deep from Space and Elon knows what these aliens are about. 

Twitter: @BostonConnr

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PMS 2.0 015 – Grandpa McAfee, NFL Recap, & Aliens

On today’s show, Pat recaps a wild weekend dressing up as a grandpa and hammering field goals for cancer research at the Colts game, the guys dive into a full NFL recap including Hue Jackson wanting to call plays for the Browns again, Amari Cooper being traded to the Cowboys for a 1st round pick, the Titans going for 2 and the win in London, the judgement call that affected the outcome of the Cowboys and Redskins, and Justin Tucker missing his first career extra point. Pat also rants about the CFL’s post about who they think the best kicker on the planet is, the guys chat about Elon Musk definitely being an alien and his series of tunnels slated to open in LA in December, discuss Rae Carruth being released from prison, and cover everything else going on in the world. It’s a good one. Come laugh with us, cheers.

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