The Last Monday Weigh-In

We just finished the last Monday weigh-in of the $9,999.99 #WeightLossChallenge.  Here were the results:

#4.  Tim McAfee initially weighed-in at 243.0 pounds.  Last Friday he weighed-out at 217.8 pounds.  Today he weighed-in at 216.8, which means he lost 1 pound over the weekend and has lost 10.78% of his initial body weight.  Tim looks good!  He has always been a guy who looks like he can bend iron with his bare hands and now that he’s trimmed down he looks like a complete beast.

#3.  Digs initially weighed-in at 239.2 pounds.  Last Friday he weighed-out at 212.0 pounds.  Today he weighed-in at 212.6, which means he gained 0.6 pounds and has lost 11.12% of his body weight.  I think Digs allowed himself a little R&R this weekend.  I’m not going to judge.  Digs is a very handsome man and losing over 11% of his body wait has only added to his handsomeness.  I’m proud of this dude.  This is his second #WeightLossChallenge in 2 years.  He’s got grit.

#2.  Zito initially weighed-in at 261.6 pounds.  Last Friday he weighed-out at 218.0 pounds and surpassed me for the lead.  Today he weighed-in at 218.2, which means he gained 0.2 pounds and has lost 16.59% of his initial body weight.  It appears Zito allowed himself a little R&R this weekend as well.  He might’ve taken a page out of my book from earlier in this competition and decided he needed to get his body and mind a little break before going into battle this week.  This could be dangerous for me.  Zito has accomplished a great deal thus far in the competition.  His discipline and intestinal fortitude has surprised me.  I’m very proud of him as well.

#1.  I initially weigh-in at 219.8 pounds.  Last Friday I weighed-out at 185.8 pounds.  Today I weighed-in at 182.6, which means I lost 3.2 pounds over the weekend and have lost 16.92% of my initial body weight.  I traveled to Lexington, KY on Friday and did 2 comedy shows that night, 2 shows on Saturday and 1 show on Sunday and travelled back home last night.  

The comedy club in Lexington put us up in a very nice hotel surrounded by awesome restaurants and bars, which was very nice of them but I should’ve requested a Motel 6 out in the middle of nowhere.  Despite my surroundings, however, I managed to only consume a pickle spear wrapped in a slice of turkey on Friday night, 3 pieces of Jumbo shrimp on Saturday and 3 teaspoons of ahi tuna on Sunday.  I look and feel like a POW right now.

In addition to all my fat, I’ve lost a lot of muscle so this isn’t the best me physically.  Conversely, I do feel this is the best me mentally.  I have gone through some tough shit in my day but this #WeightLossChallenge is, mentally, the toughest thing I’ve ever had to endure.

Marine Corps boot camp was incredibly difficult, both mentally and physically, but I never felt like I had the option of quitting or not completing a task.  Every time I reached the breaking point, 3 drill instructors would scream in my face and threaten to hate stomp me.   It was like a shot of adrenaline straight to my heart.

In this competition, I’m a man on an island.  I’m Tom Hanks in Cast Away.  I’m the recruit and drill instructor.  When I reach a breaking point, I have to get in my own face and scare myself back into fight mode.  That has been extremely difficult, more difficult than I could’ve ever imagined.  But I do feel like I’m beginning to master it.  I feel like I’m in a bit of a zone right now.

I anticipate the last 5 days will be the hardest.  I’m only ahead of Zito by 0.33%.  He’s lost a total of 43.4 pounds thus far and I’ve lost a total of 37.2 pounds.  Because of our initial weight disparity I have a slight advantage with percentage of weight lost.  Here’s an example of how it looks on paper for this week.  

If I somehow manage to lose another 5 pounds by Friday and lose a total of 42.2 pounds, that puts me at a total weight loss percentage of 19.2%.  To tie me, Zito would only have to lose another 6.8 pounds, totaling 50.2.  So, It’s literally neck and neck at this point and unfortunately for me, Zito has a lot more neck.  Fortunately for me, I think I have more grit.  I also have one final trick up my sleeve that I’ve been saving for the final week.  It’s an all natural method to ditch some extra weight at the end that I’m relying on heavily to work.  I will not be consuming any food until the final weigh-out so I’m hoping that mixed with this final trick, will be enough to put me over the top.

Regardless of how it ends up, everyone should know that the Pat McAfee team is a family.  We are all brothers.  Zito, Digs and Tim have inspired me and pushed me to tap into this inner psycho that I wasn’t sure could ever be awakened again.  I’m grateful for them and the entire team here for getting me off my old, tired, fat ass and causing me to rediscover a younger, thinner and crazier me.

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Weight Loss Challenge 2019: The Final Stretch

This weight loss challenge between Digs (Anthony Diguilio), Zito (Jose Perez), Tim McAfee and I began on January 1st.  We’re now 25 days into this thing and we’ve entered the final stretch.  The last 7 days!

I am currently in the lead, pending today’s Friday Weigh-out.  I initially weighed in at 219.8 pounds.  This past Monday I weighed-in at 188.8.  So, I’m down 31 pounds overall which is 14.1% of my initial body weight.  Zito is a very close 2nd.  Zito initially weighed-in at 261 pounds and was down to 225.2 pounds, which is 13.91% of his original body weight.  The winner is decided by the highest percentage of weigh lost.  So, with Digs at 9.95% and Tim McAfee at 9.79% it seems mathematically impossible for either of them to catch either of us this late in the competition.

I honestly had no idea going into this thing, how much weight I would be able to lose.  I hadn’t tried to lose weight since my wrestling days in high school.  In fact, I had spent most of my life trying to gain weight.  It had also been a very long time since I actually competed in something.  When this competition began I was soon reminded about how psycho I am when it comes to competing.  If I’m competing in something that have a realistic chance of winning, I’d almost rather die than lose.  That’s a bit of an exaggeration but trust me when I say that I’m capable of pushing myself to the mental and physical limit.  Not everyone can do that and that has been my sole advantage.

I’ve limited myself to a strict Keto diet and I only eat between noon and 8pm.  I also limit myself to ridiculously small portions when I do eat.  Here’s an example of a typical weekday for me.  Around noon I eat half a chicken breast or a can of tuna.  Around 3pm I eat a few raw almonds.  For dinner I eat a few slices of cucumber and a half a chicken breast.  I allow myself a little more food on the weekends but add cardio workouts.  25 days of this so far.  How long could you do this?

It’s definitely a mindfuck.  I’m hungry all the time!  But there’s light at the end of the tunnel with only 7 days left.  I’m not sure if I have enough body mass left to prevent Zito from passing me in the last week, however.  He’s still overweight, even at this stage in the game which is an extreme advantage.  My body is down to cannabilizing muscle where he is still able to burn fat.  To complicate matters, we all are traveling to Atlanta to help shoot some stuff for Super Bowl Week so we’ll spend the last 3 days of the challenge on the road, which eliminates any chance of me resulting to crazy wrestler tactics.

It’s going to be interesting to see how this last week pans out.  The deck is definitely stacked against me but I will be pulling every trick in the book that I have available to me.  I do have my inner psycho to lean on, so we’ll see what he can do.

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Why DIGS is my horse for round 2

I could beat around the bush and tell you multiple different reasons on why Digs is going to take round two of this weight loss challenge. I won’t do that though, there is absolutely only one reason why, MONEY. The first round there was nothing on the line but pride and he still almost took it, barely losing to Zito. This time around there’s 9,999 dollars on the line and for a man who loves to gamble and throw away his money, I can’t see my man Digs leaving that cash out there for somebody else to win.

He also has this absolute beast Cory Gregory designing his workouts and supplements for him. I know, i know Digs has a lot of quit in him, but not this time. I will be eating clean and grinding it out all month alongside him, well not really I’ll be in Canada but you get it.

It’s not going to be easy, it’s going to be an absolute battle all January between these four men. Im very excited for this weight loss challenge and I’m even more excited to see my horse Digs pull this thing out at the end of it. Go against the favourite Zito, everyone knows how hard it is to beat the same man twice. Digs at +300 is an absolute steal, hope you all had a great new years and here’s to a very fit and healthy January Cheers.

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Tim McAfee: Get To Know Him

Most people know Tim McAfee as the father of former NFL great turned Internet Mogul, Pat McAfee and/or as “Block Dad” because of the viral video of him pulling off the most amazing block-game move of all time.

Tim McAfee is one of my favorite people on the planet so I decided that I want you to learn more about him as a person.  So, I conducted a short little interview with him to give you more insight as to why he’s such a legend around here.

Who was your childhood hero and why?

Tim:  Mark Spitz (9-time Olympic champion, and former world record-holder in 7 events).  I was a swimmer and wanted to be just like him.  Plus, he had a badass mustache.

Where did you and your wife Sally meet?  And was it love at first sight?

Tim:  We met at a New Year’s Eve Party.  She claims I stalked her.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Tim:  I wanted to be a State Trooper.  I did all the testing but never made it.

What is your favorite food and alcoholic drink?

Tim:  A big ole steak and any dark-ass German beer.  

What’s your favorite TV Show of all time?

Tim:  Anything with Tim Allen.  He’s my soulmate.

Diet pop or the real thing?

Tim:  Give me the real thing.  Coke.  No Pepsi.

What is your favorite movie of all time?

Tim:  Equalizer 1.  Denzel was a good guy out making a difference.  Could also be Young Frankenstein. 

Who’s your favorite comedian other than your son?  Or me?

Tim:  Early Eddie Murphy

What’s your favorite song?

Tim:  Money For Nothing.  Because I was a mover.

Who’s your favorite super hero?

Tim:  Batman.  No fake powers.  Just a human making a difference in the world.

If you could assume and control the body and mind of any living person for a day, who would you choose and why?

Tim:  That’s easy.  The Donald.  There’s no other human on earth who does whatever he wants.

If I were to write a biography on your life, what should I name it?

Tim:  Either Damn That’s Been Fun or What Just Happened?

Describe every person that works for Pat, in just 2 words.

  • Digs – Dom DeLuise
  • Nick – So Cool
  • Zito – So Smart
  • Bailey – So Calm
  • Todd – Great Guy (of course)
  • Gorman – Interesting Cat
  • CFO Phil – Steady Going
  • Ty – My Trainer
  • Evan – Silent Killer
  • Connor – Loud Killer

Oh, one last thing Tim.  How do you feel about The Pub?

Tim:  I don’t know.  Do they have dark German beer?

That’s why we love him!  Special thanks to Tim for taking time out of his day for this interview.  I hope this helps you all get to know him a little better than you did before.  Tim McAfee is a machine and everyone here is happy that he’s in the building now.  Especially me, because I’m not the oldest guy in the office anymore.  Let’s go!!!

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The Weight Loss Competition Is Coming Back And I Guarantee A Win

Thats right, it’s back. Everyone had such a great time with it last year that it’s an absolute no brainer to do the weight loss competition again. This time the stakes are much much higher and there are a few more contestants but it’s the same gritty competition it was before. The changes are that its now percentage of weight lost instead of just total pounds lost, It’s 10,000 dollars to the winner, and Todd McComas and Tim McAfee will be part of the contest this time as well. The rules are quite simple, the winner is the man who loses the highest percentage of weight during the month of January.

Before we move forward to this years competition let’s take a step back and look at last years. Zito defeated me by losing 32.2 lbs while I lost 27.2 lbs.

I give it to Zito. 33 lbs is an incredible feat for a human to do in a month. Zito on most days would only eat a salad for lunch and that is it. He starved himself for 30 days and it did not phase him at all because his body had so much energy stored. Zito is literally a bear that could hibernate and not eat for 3 months and be fine. I am not worried though because I know what I did and I know I can do much better. In the videos below you can see what I was doing on the last day working out in a full sweatsuit doing everything I could to lose weight. I only did that on the last day though. I barely worked out during that competition while continuing to party on the weekends. That is going to change this time.

This time I will be doing 2 a days the entire month while also doing the diet that I did last time without the killing myself on the weekends. I honestly believe that I can lose 40 lbs this time. If I start at 230 and go to 190 that is a loss of 17.4%. Zito would have to lose 47 lbs to match that pace. I don’t think he has it in him. Im going to lose weight like Bale did for the Machinist.

This competition really comes down to motivation and I promise you I have more motivation than anyone in this competition. I need this money more than you could imagine. I also can’t lose to fucking ZITO again, that’s just not good for a mans morale. Why am I only talking about Zito as my competition? Well, I just don’t think the other 2 have a chance. They are rookies, they have no idea what it takes.

Just for fun though, lets take a look at the other 2 competitors. Starting with Todd McComas.

Todd McComas

Todd has too much going against him to win this competition. The biggest reason being the weight. Look at that picture, the man just doesn’t have the weight to lose. Todd is currently sitting around 210 and is trying to get to 220 for the competition which I don’t think he will get to. Lets say that he starts the competition at 215, Todd has to lose 37 lbs and get to 178 if he wants to play with the big boys. Todd would have to do meth for 3 months straight to get to 178. The one thing I worry about is Todd is an ex cop and may actually have meth sitting around to do. He’s hinting he has something up his sleeve and knowing Todd I know that it’s something big. 

Now onto Tim McAfee aka Block Dad

I would be worried about Tim if it wasn’t for one big reason. Tim is doing this for charity. I don’t know about you but charity isn’t enough to motivate me to eat 500 calories a day and be miserable for 30 days. Tim is not a young buck either, does he even have the metabolism it takes to compete with younger men (not Todd). I know Tim will give it his all, the guy did triathlons and I assume will train the same way that he used to but this is a young mans game. 

No matter what happens this is going to be an exciting competition that I am pretty positive you will be able to bet on at MyBookie.AG. You have 4 very different humans that live 4 very different lives losing as much weight as they can. I just want you to know that my eyes are clear, my heart is full, and I cannot lose. 

UPDATE: This Human (Cory Gregory)  is designing my training and eating program SOOOO everyone else is fucked.

We invite you to join us in this competition, no you can’t get the money but you will feel better at the end. 

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I’m Too Skinny For This Weight Loss Challenge

I don’t know how the odds are going to end up for this weight loss challenge but I have to be the underdog.  I’m facing Zito (260), Tim McAfee (240) and Digs (230).  Right now, I’m walking around at 205.  If this was last year’s NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, I’m Loyola Chicago.

How the hell can I pull this off?  I don’t have a Sister Jean!  And I’m pretty sure I’m not on real high on God’s list of favorites.  But I do have one thing in my corner and that’s fucking GRIT.  Is grit enough?  Nope.  I need to sprinkle some strategy on top of that grit.

I’ve made no secret about my plan in the office.  I’ve told everyone what it is  so now they have no excuse for not beating me.  My goal is to put 20 pounds on by the first weigh-in on January 1st.  I need to be 225 at the start of this thing.  Zito won the last weight loss challenge by dropping 34 pounds.  Right now, if I drop 35 pounds I’d weigh 170.  I’d be sick as hell.  I’d end up in a damn hospital.  As far as extra weight, I have an old guy gut, which I figure accounts for 15 pounds at the most.  Once that’s gone, the only way I’m losing weight is starvation.  So, if I don’t start with that extra 20 pounds I’m fucked.

I have to eat my ass off this month.  Carbs, sugar, protein and beer until I’m sick.  Then do it again!  I need to get disgusting.  These guys have way more extra weight to shed than I do and you can’t beat science.  We are doing it as a weight loss percentage, based on your initial weigh-in – so even though that is a little better for me than strictly going off pounds lost, I’m still at a big disadvantage.

God did gift me the ability to put on muscle quickly.  I haven’t taken advantage of that in a decade or so but now its time.  So, in addition to stuffing as much bad shit into my mouth as possible, I also plan to do as much heavy lifting as possible.  I have to hammer the low rep, high weight workouts.  If I’m going to be able to put on 20 extra pounds, half of that will have to be in muscle or I won’t make it.  Then come January 1, I don’t lift anything heavier than a coffee mug.  It’s all diet and cardio.  That’s the plan.

This is a weight loss challenge, so if I want to compete with the big boys – I have to become a big boy.  I’ll never be able to get as big as Zito because my genes are too good, but if I can at least get close to Digs then I have a shot.  Because when it comes down to the final week…I got that grit.  I figure grit can shed an extra 10 pounds if I need it.  If I have to stop eating and go to straight vitamin supplements and water just to keep me alive for 7 days…I think I got it in me.  I just have to wake up that crazy young Marine that lives down deep in my gut and let him take over for a week.  Sure, my lady might have to go stay with her mom that week so she doesn’t murder me in my sleep, but we’re talking 10 grand here.  We’re talking about NOT LOSING TO ZITO! We’re talking about one last chance to shock the world!  

What I’m saying is, when it comes time to make that bet on MyBookie…don’t sleep on your Uncle Todd.  He ain’t an easy out.

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Degenerate Digs’ Saturday CFB Picks – 11/3

I’m not here to just give you winners, I’m here to tell you why they are winners so that you can decide if you want to roll with the Parlay King or not.

As always I’ve got 5 Picks for you on this beautiful Saturday with a loaded slate. Lets get into it.

1. Ohio St -19 vs Nebraska, O/U 72.5:

This pick is pretty simple for me. Ohio St is coming off a bye week after they were absolutely embarrassed by Purdue and have renewed energy by still being #10 in the CFP ranking. They know that if they win out and do so in an impressive fashion that they still have a good chance at making the playoffs. If Urban can remember, he’s not going to take his foot off the gas. Ohio St -19

2. Georgia -10 @ Kentucky, O/U 44.5

I hate going against huge home underdogs but if Kentucky has any chance they need to SLOOOOWWW this game way down. Their offense just isn’t dynamic enough to keep up with Georgia. If Georgia can stop the run Kentucky has 0 chance. Kentucky is only throwing for 150 yards a game. Not going to overthink this one, Georgia’s athletes are 10 points better than Kentucky’s. Georgia -10

Florida -6.5 vs Mizzou, O/U 57.5

Mizzou is 0-4 in the SEC and is coming off a devastating loss to Kentucky. Florida is also coming off a tough loss to Georgia but has 4 SEC wins and all have been by 7 points or more. I honestly don’t have a clue why the line is less than a TD and it actually concerns me a little but fuck it. Looking for Florida to bounce back vs an inferior opponent. Florida -6.5

Iowa +3 @ Purdue, O/U 50.5

Both teams were HOT coming into last week and both lost on the road to better teams. The huge difference in this game is going to be defense and Iowa has the far superior defense. Look for Iowa to control the game on the ground and have no problem covering the spread. Iowa ML is not a bad play either. Iowa +3

Penn St +10.5 @ Michigan, O/U 53.5

Penn St has 2 losses on the season by a combined 5 points. I do not think they will win by any means but 10 points is just too many points to give to a good team no matter how good Michigan is. Oh and you get that little hook on top of the 10 which almost guarantees victory. Who knows, maybe Penn St does win and Joe Pa shits his pants in hell. Penn St +10.5

Oh and of course Parlay all of them… obviously.

Good Luck to Everyone. Bet at and follow those bets on the Sports Action App.  Follow my picks at

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I Think I’ve Solved The NFL’s Dildo Problem

The SUN: NFL fan arrested for ‘throwing SEX TOY onto field’ during Buffalo Bills game against New England Patriots live on TV

Michael Abdallah has been charged with disorderly conduct after the shock incident during the Monday Night Football clash

There’s a few things that Buffalo is good at during football season. Breaking tables, making chicken wings, and throwing Dildo’s during their one prime time game of the year. So when you take away putting people through table’s and ESPN has a Wing segment in Buffalo that is sponsored by Applebees, there’s only one thing left to do…. Launch Dildo’s onto the field.

I get that you can’t have 20,000 eight inch rubber spears being thrown onto the field and potentially adding to the CTE problem the NFL has… thats understandable. However a few Dildo’s is just good fun and not something you should be arrested for as long as you hit the field and not another human. Trust me, not much worse than getting hit in the face with a dildo.

Solution to the Problem: The Bills scoreboard has a dildo counter so that everyone in the stands is aware of how many Dildo’s have been thrown onto the field so far. The stadium is allowed 1 dildo per quarter and said dildo cannot be thrown while a play is going on. If a second dildo is thrown during a quarter then said dildo thrower will be removed from the stadium and given a small fine. The same punishment will be handed down to any individual who throws a dildo that hits another human or doesn’t make it to the field…. we aren’t here to waste dildo’s, cause concussions, or lose eyes. 

With this proposal we still get to have fun but also make sure we don’t abuse our privileges. You’re Welcome.×2-l0G17sS7uRkH9hHWw

Please let me know if there are any other NFL issues that you would like me to solve.

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The NFL is Rigged for Drew Brees

The NFL is rigged for Drew Brees.

Sep 17, 2017; New Orleans, LA, USA; New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees (9) during warmups before a game against the New England Patriots at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

I’d like to say that I am not an NFL rigs games guy, the Italians rig games.  However, when I lay out all the facts it will be hard to not think that something is going on.

First things first, I want to make this clear. I’m a fan of Drew Brees. Before Drew Brees if you were a skinny white kid under 6 feet you inspired to be Wayne Chrebet, Brandon Stokley, or Wes Welker, not exactly NFL royalty. More like CTE royalty. At least with Drew we now could dream about being QB royalty, the greatest of all the royalties. Drew led the way for guys like Russel Wilson, Case Keenum, Johnny Manziel, Chase Daniel, and Baker Mayfield to at least get a chance in the league. Sure some of them aren’t great but Before Drew no one that size was getting a chance. Flutie was in the league strictly for drop kicks so don’t even bring him up.

Now that I have made it clear that I appreciate Drew Brees, here is the case for the NFL rigging games for him. I don’t know why the NFL decided to do this for Drew, I assume it’s because he chose New Orleans over Miami when New Orleans needed a savior but who knows exactly why.

Speaking of New Orleans needing a hero and a savior after Katrina. Quick shout out to Steve Gleason and one of the coolest moments in NFL History

Alright let’s get into the things that have gone either the Saints way or Drew’s way that could be deemed “suspicious.”

  1. The Sea parts for Steve Gleason on the first punt in the SuperDome after Hurricane Katrina. Like I said, one of the coolest moments of all time, but how often does a rusher come that free up the middle.
  • The Saints recover one of the ballsiest onside kicks of all time in Super Bowl XLIV against the Colts. The dog pile was absolute mayhem. Sources tell me that the refs were yelling “blue ball” (Colts ball) originally and then changed to the Saints. The video below does not show the refs pointing for the Colts at any point but that’s what I’m told.
  • Peyton Manning throws a pick six to Tracey Porter to seal the game for the Saints. At first that seems like a normal football play until you really break it down.  Tracey Porter basically ran the route for Reggie Wayne. Reggie Wayne being a guy who caught 856 balls from Manning. A ball being intercepted that easily on a pass between those 2 is not a common occurrence. Was Tracey tipped off? Peyton and Reggie are both from Louisiana…… hmm.
  • 2012 Drew Brees breaks Johnny Unitas record for most games in a row with a TD pass. This is where the suspicion switched from the Saints to strictly Drew Brees. Drew breaks the record during a primetime Sunday Night Football game, against the Chargers (the team that chose Phillip Rivers over him), to a WIDE OPEN Devery Henderson.
  • 2018 Drew Brees becomes the all-time passing yards leader in the NFL. Once again this was done during a primetime game. Once again to a WIDE OPEN receiver for a TD. Sure the NFL tried covering up the rigging by enforcing a penalty for excessive celebration even though his whole family is there with the huge Hall of Fame dude with his white gloves and a certificate for Drew to have but I saw right through it.
  • Last week Drew Brees throws his 500th TD and beats the Ravens, the only team he had never beaten.  It wasn’t that he beat the Ravens on the day he threw his 500th TD it was how he beat the Ravens on the day he threw his 500th TD.  The NFL fired up there ole wind machine and forced Justin Tucker to miss an Extra Point. Justin Tucker, the league’s most accurate kicker. Justin Tucker who hadn’t missed an XP since High School. 314 Extra Points in a row. Doesn’t matter how many extra points you’ve hit in a row when you’re against Drew and the NFL. Hmmmmmm

Like I said, I’m not an NFL is rigged guy, but when the evidence is laid out in front of you.  It’s tough to argue.

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