Initially, I wouldn’t touch this ship with a fifty foot pole. Getting on a boat named after the most famous shipwreck in boater(?) history is something that most people would swiftly turn down. However, my sails have shifted in my thought process around this replica of the Titanic. I am now, officially, fully on board with this remake and will be trying to get aboard the ship below for the maiden voyage from Dubai to New York.
“Titanic II will apparently be outfitted with plenty of life boats — and will have a welded, not riveted hull — plus modern navigation and radar equipment.” I don’t know the difference between a welded and a riveted hull, but I do know a lot of things have changed since 1908. We’re not dealing with the same dumpster fire that set sail 10 days before Fenway Park opened. It’s the 21st century, this mother fucker has radar and navigation, chunks of ice aren’t going to be popping up in the middle of nowhere and taking down this vessel. Did the ship in 1912 have wifi? Did that ship have people who could film the entire ship sinking for an electric snap story? To answer both questions — no.
In a perfect world, I’d have the 100,000 dollars that it cost’s to get onto Titanic II. But in this imperfect place that allows the Giants to cover on Monday Night Football, I know the likelihood of me attending this Dubai to New York trip will only be possible if I’m wearing an apron and cleaning cabins on the ship the entire time. It’s worst case scenario but there will 100% be jobs open due to the “save the passengers” mentality that sinking ships have. Either way, my long term goal is to get to Dubai and get on that ship. If it sinks, then you’ll know I died happily thinking of this Leo gif.