After Kyle Shanahan confirmed Nick Mullens is going to start on Monday Night I was excited for the young man to perform during another primetime game but I also know that I can’t trust Nick Mullens to be consistently good. He’s doomed to have bad games and make horrible throws. Why you ask? Well he suffers from a rare QB condition that is incurable. There are ways to manage the condition and have good games but it will eventually doom him and his career. The condition is known as “ROMOEYEITUS” (Romo-eye-itus). Named after former QB and now weird announcer Tony Romo. It’s an extremely rare condition. Nick Mullens is only the 3rd QB to ever be diagnosed with said condition. The other 2 being Tony Romo (Obviously) and Mitch Trubisky. The only way to tell if your QB has this condition is to look into the eyes. This condition is strictly about the eyes, the eyes tell all. If your QB has beady little black eyes then they have Romoeyeitus. If this is the case, Sorry for your loss. Please see example A,B and C below.
Symptoms include: Good arm talent, Above average scrambling ability, Poor decision making, shitty ball security, Lacking the clutch gene, Throws nice interceptable ball, Weak back/shoulder/collar bone, Will be just good enough to keep around for a decade.
Please watch this educational video for Examples of what this rare condition can lead to.
You can call me an idiot now but when this blog is in the American Journal of Medicine I will have the last laugh.
I’d also like it to be known that I am rooting for Mitch and Nick to overcome this condition and not succumb to it like Tony did. With advancements in todays medicine there is always a hope.