Get A Load Of This Guy

What in the hell is wrong with this guy? I mean what’re we doing here? I was under the impression the Pokémon Go phenomenon was dead and buried, but clearly no one has mentioned this to Chen San-yuan. Can you imagine his morning routine? Gets up at the asscrack of dawn, makes some tea, and then spends the next hour strapping this iPhone rig exo skeleton he’s created to his body. Look how many charging cables he has funneled into that little satchel! Chen is one spark away from being cooked alive and becoming a burning effigy. Here’s a closer look at the method to his madness.

$1,000 (not sure of the conversion to yen) a month on in-app purchases and equipment to continue fueling his addiction.. bonkers. I do love his spin zone of saying that playing helps him fend off Alzheimer’s and allows him to meet countless people, no one can argue with that. I’d like to see some hard data on whether or not that is actually true, but in the meantime, I’ll take Chen San-yuan’s word for it.

Initially, I thought “Uncle Pokémon” here was just doing whatever possible to entertain his grandkids, but it’s evident that’s not the case. If you’re out playing Pokémon Go until 4 AM nightly, there’s no question you’ve alienated everyone and everything else in your life in your quest to catch them all. 

I won’t hate though, we’ve all got our vices, and if you’ve spent the last sixty years of your life breaking your back in some factory, by all means, play as much Pokémon Go as your heart desires. But he also needs to be careful, lest he wants to become another statistic.

Once people see this dude strolling around with a Doc Ock suit strapped to his body with all these different gadgets, these gangs of youth’s see a big cash cow and he could end up getting his ass ragdolled into a lake too. Stay safe out there, Uncle Pokémon. You don’t drain the remainder of your life savings and drive away anyone who has ever cared about you just to pack it in before the job is done, do you? No, you don’t. Just keep your head on a swivel out there.

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