69 Year Old Man Takes Legal action to reduce age to pick up chicks on tinder

Daily Mail: A 69-year-old Dutchman is battling to legally reduce his age by 20 years so he can get more work and attract more women on Tinder.

Emile Ratelband argues that if transgender people are allowed to change sex, he should be allowed to change his date of birth because doctors said he has the body of a 45-year-old.

‘When I’m 69, I am limited. If I’m 49, then I can buy a new house, drive a different car. I can take up more work. When I’m on Tinder and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer. When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position.’

I’ve been blogging for 3 days and I have been ITCHING to do a good ole hate blog. Today is that day. 

https://giphy.com/gifs/dg7EVuAv0emkw

Fuck this guy. I have so many issues with what this guy and what he is trying to do. To make this nice and easy, here are my issues. Im going to write this as i’m writing to him because I feel like my emotions will come out better.

  1. Your doctors may say you have the body of a 45 year old but you have the face of 70 you old fuck. “With the face I have” you say. Your face looks like an old catchers mitt that has been used for too many years and just thrown in the corner to never be used again. Your neck looks like… well you know what it looks like. No younger woman wants to sit on that. You look like an older less cool version of Mandy Patinkin. 

UPDATE: Just found another picture of this asshole. Yup this is what a 45 year old in peak condition looks like.

This is what an actual in shape 45 year old looks like and you sir could not hold this mans jock. Notice Todd does not have any of that old person neck thing going on and face hasn’t been destroyed by 70 years of life. Handsome is what you’re looking at. 

2. Do less man. If you want to put your age as 45 on Tinder just put your age as 45 on Tinder. There’s no need to go and try to get attention for your failing positivity guru/motivational speaker business. People lie on that thing all the time. Maybe just put up a picture of you when you were 45. People always have pictures on Tinder from when they were 25 pounds lighter, no reason why you cant have pictures from when you were 25 years younger. Then when you get on the date you can explain to the person that your actually 70 but the doctor says your as healthy as a 45 year old and see how that goes. Explain to them that your balls are at your knees because of some weird disease rather than it being because thats what 70 years of gravity does. They would probably enjoy hearing all about that on your 4PM dinner date. 

3. You say that if your age changes to 49 then you’ll be able to buy a new house, drive a different car and can take up more work. Ill be honest that my European law knowledge is not something i’m confident in but I assume if your 69 you can buy any house or car you would like. So i’m going to call bullshit on that one sir. Yes, you could work more at 49, but WHYYYY would you want that. You’ve reached the goal, you’re 70 so just enjoy your pension and shut the fuck up.

4. This fucking quote, “When I’m on Tinder and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer. When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position.” LOLOLOLOL. Fuck you sir.

https://giphy.com/gifs/middle-finger-mister-rogers-fred-44Eq3Ab5LPYn6

Always good to start the day with a nice big cup of hate. I feel really good about the future of today. 

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