PMS 053 – Tim Tebow, Ben Askren, & A Slew Of Magic

On today’s show, Pat and the guys welcome in 2X State Champion, 2X NCAA Champion, member of the 2008 Olympic wrestling team, former ONE and Bellator Welterweight Champion, and one of the hottest names currently in the UFC coming off a victory at UFC 235, “Funky” Ben Askren, joins the show for an incredible conversation. They cover why the UFC/Dana White ducked him for so long and why Dana still hates him, what he wants to do with the rest of his career in the UFC, what it was like fighting in Asia for a large part of his career, some of his hobbies outside of the Octagon, his thoughts on Conor McGregor, and what some of the defining moments of his career have been (2:01-45:07). The guys also have some HUGE Tim Tebow news, chat about kids today and the issues with a participation trophy society, discuss winter weather sports, where Antonio Brown’s landing spot will be as the Steelers say he should be traded by Friday, what the deal with the anti-vaccine crowd is and where it all started, what the deal with Jim Carrey is right now, and Pat chats about his upcoming plans for Orlando including going to the Avatar theme park down there. It’s a good one. Come and laugh with us, cheers.

The Pat McAfee Show vs Matt Mitrione

One of the benefits of working for The Pat McAfee Show is the cast of interesting characters that stop by the office to visit.  One of my favorite characters that stops in is MMA fighter Matt Mitrione.

Matt is a top heavyweight who currently fights for Bellator and previously for the UFC.  He’s a top-tier fighter who hails from Lafayette, IN (his current home) and trains in Indianapolis with Chris Lytle, so he graces us with his presence from time to time.

Today, Matt stopped in the office and stole my hat for the third time since I’ve been friends with him.  I got a bunch of hats and I love Matt so I’m happy to let him have one every now and again.  Plus, he’s one of the deadliest humans walking the Earth and I’m not even in the top 500 million so…

This interaction led to an awesome conversation in the office after Matt left.  First, let me say we all LOVE Matt Mitrione.  He’s awesome!  But because he is literally one of the deadliest humans on our planet, I asked the crew if all of us attacked him at the same time, did they think we could beat him up.

Zito, Digs, Connor and Ty were quick to answer with a resounding yes.  Their argument was that no matter how big or skilled he is as a fighter, no one can beat up 10 guys at once.  Pat, Nick and I weren’t as convinced.  We did concede that their theory is sound but our diffidence was based on the reality that for 10 of us to accomplish this, every single one of us has to be 100% committed to the simultaneous attack.  That means that each of us has to be ok with the fact that 2, if not 3, of us are going to get knocked the fuck out.

For this to work, there can be no hesitation.  A staggered attack would mean we’d all by at risk of getting severely fucked up.  This is 100% a swarm situation.  We’d have to overwhelm him and get him on the ground so that he can’t move.  That’s way easier said than done.  It’s hard for 10 people to effectively pile on a monster like Matt and totally restrict his movement.  Keep in mind, he’s going to be breaking dudes’ fingers, biting off ears, crushing testicles…I don’t think our crew has that kind of commitment.  But I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, that not only does Matt Mitrione have that kind of commitment…I’m pretty sure he’d rather do that than have sex.

The crew still seems divided on this but I stand by my opinion.  Mike Tyson said it best, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.”  That quote applies to schmucks like us.  People like Mike and Matt actually make a living by having a plan after they get punched in the face.

Regardless, this was just a hypothetical question based my twisted curiosity.  This would never happen because we love Matt and he loves us.  We hope.

Follow @mattmitrione and watch his fight on February 15th.

Follow @toddmccomas 

UFC 232: Nevada Says No To Jon Jones’ Blood

CBSsports.comJones’s drug test showed a trace amount of turinabol, the banned substance that saw him suspended 15 months by the United States Anti-Doping Agency, remained in his system. The USADA referred to it as “an extremely low level,” concluding that it is a residual amount “from his prior exposure for which he was previously sanctioned.” 

Even after the USADA released this statement, the Nevada Athletic Commission says, “Nah dawg.”  They don’t like that turinabol is still present in his system, so now they want Jones to attend a hearing in January to decide if he’s eligible to fight again in Nevada.  So, the UFC had to move this whole operation to LA!  I think the NAC is just done with this dude.  Luckily for us, the California State Athletic Commission is not.

I get it.  Jones has been getting our hopes up for years.  Every time we think we get to enjoy his return to the UFC, he fucks up and gets suspended, but here’s my stance on this whole thing.

To Jon Jones: Stay clean dude!  You should’ve never tested positive to begin with.  Why do you need PED’s?!  You don’t even need to train?!  You could jog twice a week and catch a spin class every other Thursday and still be the champ!  You’re way better than everyone else!  We want to watch you fight!  So, knock it off!

To the Nevada Athletic Commission: Don’t be dicks!  He wasn’t banned for life.  He’s in the program and the USADA went on record with the opinion that this was a trace amount still in his system from the original failed test.  He’s fucked up in California before too and they’re letting him fight!  How about everyone gets on the same page here!

Ultimately, it’s not a big deal as far as the fight goes.  He’s still fighting Alexander Gustafson, who he’ll destroy, but what a pain in the ass for the UFC and all the fighters on the card.  Not to mention all the people that were traveling to the fight and now have to either change their flight and hotel or sell their tickets.

Who is the Nevada Athletic Commission’s decision protecting?  It was a trace amount of turinabol so it’s not protecting Jones or Gustafson.  It cost the UFC a lot of money so it’s not protecting them.  It’s certainly not protecting the ticket holders or the businesses in Vegas that stand to profit from having the fight there, so this can only mean the decision is personal.

So, let’s meet the Nevada Athletic Commission and see if we can figure out who has it out for Jon Jones.

Chairman Anthony A. Marnell III

Staci Alonso
Robert McBeath, M.D.
Dallas Haun
Christopher Ault

We can see by their photos that Anthony and Staci are a good time, so no way it’s either of them.  Robert is a freaking doctor for God’s sake.  He’s all about the science so there’s no way it’s him.

So, what about Dallas Haun and Christopher Ault?  Haun is the Chairman of Nevada State Bank which means he’s all about keeping money in Nevada and not sending it off to California, so let’s rule him out.

Christopher Ault, on the other hand, is an old ass dude who coached the Nevada Wolf Pack’s football team for 28 years and then served as the athletic director there until 2004.  He’s 72, retired and has agreed to serve as an unpaid member of a government commission that controls the livelihood of every fighter that works in Nevada.  Can you say “God Complex”?  This is definitely our guy.  Look at him!  Everything is black and white with this dude.

I’m sure the other commission members tried to explain that the amount of turinabol was just a trace amount left over from before but he’s not listening.  He’s still pissed off about Mark McGwire beating Roger Maris’ home run record, so any amount of PED is too much PED for old Coach Ault.  

I’m glad we finally got to the bottom of this but I’m sad for everyone effected by this horrible, self-righteous decision.  Do better Nevada.  Do better.

Follow @toddmccomas

ICYMI: Chicago Blackhawks Mascot Absolutely Bodied A Fan Over The Weekend

Although the video above doesn’t show it, Tommy Hawk was the victim here. Allegedly, some punk picked a fight with him during the Blackhawks 4-3 overtime loss to Winnipeg in the Mad House on Madison on Saturday. The Chicago Sun-Times reported the following, “The alleged attacker was described as a white man between 18 and 20, about 5-foot-5 and 160 pounds. No one was in custody as of Saturday night.” 

I don’t think an arrest, or jail time, or anything else like that is necessary. This kid got ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BODIED by Tommy Hawk. If you get picked up and slammed into the concourse and then eat five or six punches and get put into a subsequent guillotine by a mascot after you start throwing a couple jabs his way, that’s social suicide. Every person that this kid knows saw him get his ass beat by Tommy Hawk. This video went viral quick and was one of ESPN’s top trending stories over the weekend. And if there’s any justice in this world, this kid will be getting shit shoveled in his mouth for the rest of the school year, and potentially the next 5-10 years. You never go after a mascot. It’s low hanging fruit. Granted, if you’re not one of the plants who gets popcorn or an XL soda spilled on them, and a mascot tries to get cute and zones in on you, then you have the greenlight. But if you blindside a mascot on the concourse while he’s trying to go around and take pictures with little kids and hand out a bunch of high-fives, you’re a real piece of shit.

And boy oh boy did this kid regret it. If you’re going to pick a fight with a mascot, there should be a couple of things you check off your list before you do so:

1. Are you a 5’5″ 160 lb. pipsqueak who has a very good chance of being embarrassed and thrown through the concrete?

2. Are there hundreds of people around who would be able to film you getting your ass beat by said mascot and then have the ability to send it our via Twitter or Instagram to spread to the masses?

3. Are you sure underneath that fuzzy suit there isn’t an absolute specimen with a black belt in judo relishing the opportunity to kick some ass and bodyslam someone straight to hell should anyone be foolish enough to throw some cheap shots at him?

4. Do you have incredibly tight khaki’s on that look more like high waters and people can see 3/4’s of your pixie stix legs below the ankle of the pant? 

If you can definitively answer yes to one or more of these questions, then going after the mascot isn’t a wise choice. It’s a lose-lose situation. So you get tuned up with the boys and you end up fighting the mascot. Best case scenario you go to jail for assault and everyone thinks you’re a horses ass because you picked a fight with someone you weren’t expecting to defend themselves. Or you do what this kid did. You try to act tough, probably suck down one to two IPA’s and you get some liquid courage only to find out that you fucked with the wrong guy and that he’s filled with rage and coming for blood.

Obviously, the silver lining for this kid is that his name hasn’t been released.. yet. He’s got a day or two of obscurity before everyone in the greater Chicagoland area knows how big of a whistledick he is. Clock is ticking, pal.

Follow @tyschmit

Roger, The Yoked, Kickboxing Kangaroo Has Passed Away

This one is tough to swallow. Roger, the absolutely jacked kickboxing kangaroo, has passed away at the age of 12. It’s a day of mourning not just in Australia, but the entire world. This sweet, sweet marsupial wanted nothing more than to eat some grass, and kick some wholesale ass, and it’s tragic that he will no longer be able to do so.

What an absolute unit. How many animals can crumple up a metal bin just to flex on anyone trying to give them some guff? I can’t even imagine how many people at this kangaroo sanctuary got the absolute shit smacked out of them for trying to mouth off to Roger. “Hey pal, it’s bedtime,” oh okay, here’s a nice stiff right jab to chew on. “Hey Roger, these folks want to oogle at you and feed you some pellets.” Oh, they do? How about I feed you a nice full bodied roundhouse to the mouth instead.

These kangaroos above are just your run-of-the-mill kickboxing kangaroos. Can you imagine how badly either one of these fellas would get bodied by Roger? He’s the prototypical alpha male. It’s like imagining Brock Lesnar fighting Rey Mysterio. I was always under the impression that kangaroos were very docile creatures, but I don’t have any shame in admitting that Roger would’ve ragdolled my ass. He’d probably bounce my head off the ground a couple of times and then teabag my lifeless corpse for good measure. It’s not just me either, I don’t think anyone wants smoke if Rog comes strolling in with his 22’s glistening in the sun. And if anyone did find themselves in a situation that called for physicality, I can assure you they spent the next several hours picking up their chiclets out of the dirt.

Unfortunately, we’ll never get to see any more live footage of Rog. He’s gone to the great beyond. Maybe even better off, because some creatures are too magical to be confined to some wildlife preserve for their entire lives. I know this hurts, and it’s going to for awhile now. But I think we should all smile because he was here, not cry because he’s gone. I love you, Roger, and I’ll miss you.

Follow @tyschmit

Watch Out MMA. Bare Knuckle Boxing Is Here!

Bare knuckle boxing has finally set up legitimate roots in the US and I predict it’s just a matter of time before its popularity surpasses that of MMA.

Bare Knuckle boxing is currently sanctioned in Wyoming and Mississippi.  Other states are reportedly hesitant right now, which is reminiscent of when MMA was first introduced to the US.  The UFC had a definite fight on their hands and it took a long time for states to jump on board but they were the first to break ground on something like this.  I anticipate the acceptance of Bare Knuckle Boxing to happen much quicker because of the path laid by the UFC.

MMA has already accelerated Bare Knuckle Boxing’s growth because of how quickly it has attracted former UFC fighters like Chris Lytle, Kendall Grove, Phil Baroni, Bec Rawlings, Johny Hendricks, Melvin Guillard and Chris Leben.  All of these fighters have spoken well of their experience in the new sport, which is sure to help attract more fighters in the near future.  The bigger the names, the bigger the PPV numbers and as we all know…money talks.  That’s all these other states are waiting on.

I’m sure, just like when MMA first came on the scene, conservative legislators will speak on how barbaric it is and that there are medical concerns but it’s already a forgone conclusion that cuts, blood and broken hands pale in comparison to traumatic brain injury issues that the NFL is negotiating.  Yes, fighters do get knocked out but that’s way different.  Fighters that suffer a knockout are sidelined, via medical suspension, for a minimum of 60 days.  MMA has already successfully defended this and the removal of 4 ounce gloves isn’t significant enough of an argument to put Bare Knuckle Boxing in a separate category.

So, why do I think Bare Knuckle Boxing will surpass MMA’s popularity?  For the casual observer, Bare Knuckle Boxing is a sport that eliminates everything that is boring about boxing and MMA.  Grappling aficionados, like myself, enjoy when fighters get to showcase their wrestling and jiu-jitsu skills and end a fight with a submission on the ground.  But let’s face it, the masses want blood.  They want to see to fighters go to war and bang it out on their feet.  I’ve seen three Bare Knuckle Boxing events so far and this is exactly what you get.

Regular boxing matches are too long.  Fighters typically conserve energy for the first half of the fight and the gloves offer enough padding to make knockdowns and knockouts, the exception more than the rule.  With no gloves, the opposite is true.  A Bare Knuckle Boxing match is 5 two-minute rounds as opposed to most pro boxing matches, which are typically 10-12 three-minute rounds.  This means Bare Knuckle fighters have to get after it, which means Bare Knuckle viewers get an exciting damn show.

The quickest way for a sport to grow is to be more appealing to more people than your competitor.  I am a boxing fan and even more of an MMA fan, but Bare Knuckle boxing is way more exciting to watch.   The organizations are paying high enough purses to attract top tier MMA and boxing talent and putting them in a faster-paced, more intense arena and the payoff is going to be very huge.  Good for them and good for us.  

The Sickest Knockout In UFC History

Of the all the amazing and crazy knockouts we’ve seen in the UFC over the years, this might top them all.  This is a prime example of when situational awareness meets desperation.  Yair Rodriguez slips a left hand from The Korean Zombie, Chan Sung Jung, and realizes that Jung’s momentum is carrying his unprotected face over his shoulder and toward his right hip.  So Rodriguez throws a desperate right elbow upward, as if he was starting a chainsaw, and lands it on Jung’s chin.

The precision, timing and situational awareness required to pull this off is baffling.  Especially, when you consider how fatigued he had to be after battling for nearly 5 rounds.  The Korean Zombie was literally 1 second away from winning this fight.  By that, I mean this elbow landed with 1 second left on the clock at the end of the 5th and final round.  Fortunately for Rodriguez and us, desperation can cause some unbelievable shit to happen in the octagon.

My favorite knockout before this one also occurred during a moment of desperation and ironically enough, happened 12 years ago to the day, before this fight (November 11, 2006).  In the TUF 4 finale, Scott Smith caught a liver punch from Pete Sell that sucked the life out of him.  As he was going down, Sell rushed him and Smith mustered one last burst of energy and managed to throw a haymaker that caught Sell on the chin and knocked him out.

Moments like these remind us that these men and women are not only skilled mixed-martial artists, they’re also warriors.  Something that the rest of us lost, through evolution, still lives inside them and thank God for that because it’s fun as shit to watch it unleashed.

Donald Cerrone Will Make UFC History Tomorrow

Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone is fighting in the co-main event tomorrow for UFC Fight Night 139.  If things go his way, he could walk out of the octagon with two more UFC records and I am fucking excited!

Cerrone is 20-8 in the UFC.  At 20 victories he’s tied with Michael Bisping and Georges St-Pierre for most wins in UFC history.  That’s some great company to be in.  Cerrone’s 14  victories by stoppage, has him tied with Vitor Belfort and Anderson Silva for the most wins by stoppage in UFC history.  Also great company to be in.  So, a win by knockout, TKO or submission tomorrow night…secures both records.

To say this dude has had an impressive career is an understatement.  He already holds the UFC record for most knockouts stemming from a head kick, with 6.  No one else has more than 4.  He also has 13 UFC fight night bonuses, which puts him in a tie for 3rd for that record.

After the retirement of Chris Lytle, Donald Cerrone became my guy.  I love well-rounded fighters that put on exciting fights and these guys both fit the bill.  Championships aren’t important to me, it’s how you perform in the octagon that wins me over.  It’s the fighters that, even when they lose, earn fight of the night bonuses because of the battle they waged.  Cerrone lost a unanimous decision to Benson Henderson in a WEC Lightweight Championship fight in 2009 and the fight earned Fight of The Year honors.  This is the shit I’m talking about!  

Fighters like Cerrone are special animals. They raise the bar.  Every time they fight an elite opponent, they force that fighter to fight the best fight of their career because that is the only way you’re going to beat them.  They bring it each and every time they glove up.

The fact that he’s a real-life cowboy, drinks Diesels at post-fight and never goes on Joe Rogan’s podcast without a dip in…doesn’t hurt either.  Could he be more my guy?!  Nope.  I hope he puts Mike Perry to sleep with a head kick in the first round, earns knockout of the night honors and then goes on to break every single UFC record in the book.

Mike Perry is a well-rounded fighter with a significant advantage in both size and power and Cerrone has also lost 4 of his last 5 fights.  I personally think he got fucked in the decision loss to Robbie Lawler but, nevertheless, Perry is the odds on favorite at -185.  However, Perry is 4-3 in the UFC, and has a loss to Max Griffin earlier this year.  I know he’s a physical specimen, but I think at this stage in his career, he’s vulnerable to a technician of Cerrone’s caliber.  I’m also a big believer that great fighters fight great fights at great moments.  

So, I’m taking Donald Cerrone at +185 because I think tomorrow is his destiny.  There’s no way in hell he’s letting anything, or anyone, prevent him from breaking the most coveted of all UFC records, most wins.  At 35-years-old, I fully expect Cowboy to have one of his best performances of his career and that will simply be more than Mike Perry can handle.

Follow @toddmccomas

I Hate Steven Seagal

I was a teenager when Steven Seagal broke out on the scene with his first movie Above The Law in 1988.  The movie was a huge success and he had me hooked.  I thought he was the coolest, most badass dude on the planet.  Throwing around bad guys in ways I had never seen before, breaking arms at the elbow, pushing the slide back on his Colt 45 with one finger to rack a round in the chamber…Steven Seagal was my messiah! 

There was such a mystery to his backstory too.  He had this whole thing about how he lived in Japan to train under this 200-year-old Aikido Master, people were saying that he had worked for the CIA… What a gift we were handed from the action movie gods.  

Then Steven Seagal kept making movies.  I hung in there for the following 3; Hard To Kill, Marked For Death and Under Siege.  They weren’t as good as Above The Law but I was still riding the high from 1988 so I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.  But then the UFC popped on the scene in 1993 and Steven Seagal was exposed for what he is.  A fraud!  This guy was complete bullshit!  I got to see REAL martial artists fight other REAL martial artists in REAL fights.  

This didn’t look anything like the black and white choreographed dance-fighting that Seagal had shown us from his time in Japan.  Don’t get me wrong, I knew then what movie magic was and that the action heroes I loved weren’t all the badasses they appeared to be on screen.  But he had fooled me into thinking he was the real deal!  I honestly thought he wasn’t an actor.  I thought he was the deadliest man on the planet that was recruited by the CIA to kill people abroad and then somehow got discovered by Hollywood and got talked into making movies for us.  Because that is what he had led us to believe!  My friends and I used to have real conversations about how Steven Seagal could beat Mike Tyson in a street fight!  Are you fucking kidding me?!

This was worse than when I found out Santa Clause wasn’t real.  I had been Hoodwinked!  Bamboozled!  Steven Seagal wasn’t a martial artist!  He was a bullshit artist!  And as the years went on he didn’t even try to keep fooling us.  He didn’t stay in shape and keep pulling off incredibly choreographed fight sequences like he did in his early movies.  He got fat as shit and started hiding the fact that he can’t move by doing fight scenes with lots of jump cuts and close-up shots that don’t show his face.

Steven Seagal is a piece of shit that somehow manages to make 23 movies a year that go straight to Netflix.  The fact that he’s still able to make money as an action star is a travesty!  I don’t throw around the word “hate” lightly either.  It takes a lot to earn my hate.  I really only hate three things.  I hate terrorism, I hate diet soda…and I hate Steven Seagal.  

Follow @toddmccomas

PMS 2.0 020 – A Life Coach Calls The Show

Today’s show is packed with some incredible conversations. First, former Iowa Hawkeye legend and Colts linebacker, Pat Angerer, joins the show to talk about being George Kittle’s newly appointed life coach, what he’s been up to, being a newly minted tag team champion on a local wrestling circuit in Iowa, and how he’s been enjoying this NFL season along with his Super Bowl pick. Also included is his infamous naked locker room fight story from the first time he was on the show (3:55-33:33). Later, Pat sits down with Digs for another edition of Quick Hits to cover everything going on in the NFL, Connor and Evan join Pat to discuss how incredible Zion Williamson’s debut was, Todd and Pat chat about Brock Lesnar sticking with the WWE through April and what that means for his UFC prospects, and Nick joins the show for some Throwback Thursday music and a little hockey talk. Stick around until the end for an incredible #endgang #endgame opportunity. It’s a good one. Come laugh with us. Cheers.

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